Weekly Update.

(CORRECTION: It’s “Downton Abbey” and I called it “Downtown Abbey.”)

– Boxing: Last update I started off with the statement: “We’re getting closer, I think, to a Mayweather/Pacquiao fight, but Bob Arum is still a dick.” Showing how little I fucking know about what I’m supposed to really know, Mayweather has announced that he’ll be fighting Miguel Cotto on May 5th. Then on Monday it was announced that Manny Pacquiao will fight Timothy Bradley on June 9th (as of this writing, Bradley has not officially signed). So we are now back to a zero chance of Pacquiao fighting Mayweather.

– Hulu Plus: I started using Hulu Plus recently, mainly because I wanted to catch up on Community and didn’t feel like paying $50 for one season on DVD. The biggest sell for me was that I can watch Hulu Plus through my Xbox, and not have to watch on my computer. It’s $7.99 a month for a whole shit load of content from NBC, Fox, and others. The downside is that there are commercials (just shorter breaks) and even worse, it’s only like four or five different commercials. If you end up watching a few episodes in a row, you will get extremely annoyed at the repetitive ads. Oh, and yes, Community is hilarious. I have no problem sticking it up there with Arrested Development.

– Downton Abbey: What the fuck is this show? I refuse to look into it, so any comments are welcome. I only ask because Amy Nuttall (I hope that’s pronounced “nut all”) is in it:  (The Daily What)

– And I say: A George Harrison guitar solo was stripped out of The Beatles’ “Here Comes The Sun,” which is pretty crazy that this just came out considering no one’s ever heard of The Beatles:  (Boing Boing)

– Wait, how long? Wanna watch Adriana Lima wave a flag for five hours? Here you go:  (The World’s Best Ever)

– Face/Off: The U.S. military wants to use masks to help burn victims regrow their faces. Using a mask “layered with sensors, actuators and a regenerative elixir — including stem cells — to regrow missing facial tissue.”  (Wired)

– “Moss froze the planet”: Motherfucking moss bringing about the ice age and shit. Technically the first land plants sucked carbon dioxide right out the Earth’s atmosphere, possibly dropping temperatures by 9 degrees. So kick a plant next time you see one.  (Discovery)

– Suck at golf? Buy this weed-whacking driver for when you end up in rough. Or out of bounds, or wherever anyone would let you cut the grass for them.  (Carpe Diem)

– Shadow art: The art on the wall is created by light shining on the art hanging from the ceiling:  (Core77)

– Nanos: One group of scientists are creating nanoparticles that seek out MRSA and selectively kill that harmful shit while leaving your shit alone. And then Dr. Sherif El-Safty created a “nanomaterial which enables simple detection and removal of arsenic from drinking water.”  (Institute of Nanotechnology)

– Even “nanopaint”: Maybe they are overusing “nano” everywhere, but whatever, the tech is dope. This guy created paint that can tell you of structural damage. Not like Siri tell you, more like “hey, what’s that blinking on your computer monitor?” “Shit! We gotta get the fuck outta here,” tell you.  (Engadget)

– Global economics: This paragraph is crazy:

An international team worked together to create the new material. First, transgenic goats and silkworms equipped to produce spider-silk proteins spun out the raw material in the synthetic biology lab at Utah State University. The cocoons were then shipped to South Korea, where they were reeled into thread, before being woven into fabric in Germany. The modified silk was then wedged between bioengineered skin cells developed by biochemist Abdoelwaheb El Ghalbzouri at the Leiden University Medical Center in the Netherlands. After five weeks of incubation, the hybrid skin was ready for target practice.

Then they took a fucking gun and shot that skin. And the skin stopped the bullet at slower speeds, something normal skin can’t do. Spider-silk skin, coming to a baby near you!  (New Scientist)

– Most disappointing article: Look ma, no wings: Secret of great tit flight revealed.” Oh. Birds.  (New Scientist) (It’s actually a cool video, just no breasts.)

– The Marks Financial Update:

  • MFL – Mark Lee is our worse performing Mark this year-to-date, however he is till up 3.77% and will forever hold the 2011 crown, so let the haters hate. My man’s turning 30, which means we get to find out if he’s like a running back. Investors will be watching. Mark Lee chugged along from $14.58 to $15.13 on February 7th.
  • MDH – Harter just loves sitting in the middle of these two, up 4.78% for the start of the year. Not bad, but you know he should be getting a boost for hosting yet another victorious Super Bowl party. Harter stands at $2.41, up from $2.30.
  • MAB – Bunk’s really pissed about his last place finish the prior year so he came out sprinting, jumping from $14.39 to $16.35 as of February 7th. We’ll keep watching you though, just ’cause your a shady shit.

– GMen: On Monday at work I was asked, “when did you get nervous?” My original reply was, “two weeks ago.” The real question is, “when were you most nervous?” It had to be with 5 minutes left after the Patriots had just converted a third down at the Giants’ 47. Another first down and there’s at least a field goal. Fortunately, three great plays happened. On 1st, Chris Canty plants The Law Firm one yard deep, and quickly. Next is the Welker drop (totally not covered on the Internet). On third down, Corey Fucking Webster crushes Branch to break up the pass. All that was left was Eli Time. And now there’s this:  (@Giants)

– Just relax: Felt like there was too much writing in this update. So here’s Camille Rowe:  (Terry Richardson)


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Weekly Update.

(WARNING: No naked chicks below.)

– Boxing: We’re getting closer, I think, to a Mayweather/Pacquiao fight, but Bob Arum is still a dick.

– Chrome: I started using Google Chrome at work because one of the websites we need to access was created by a shitty company and the only way for that site to work at a normal speed is for us to use the fastest web browser available. (That site pisses me off so much, I write run-on sentences.) Then I tried using Chrome on yet another site for work, this one made by a not-so-shitty company, and was convinced. Chrome is fast as shit. The screen looks cleaner. Your homepage will have pictures of the sites you visit most. Click on them and you’re there. You can search directly in the addressbar (I originally wrote “toolbar”, but assholes would say, “hey, dick, it’s called the searchbox, any browser can do that” <– say that all douchey-like, with a slight whine at the end). And importing information (bookmarks/passwords) from your other, shittier browser is easy. (Hey, Mark Lee: remember when the whole site was supposed to be just like this fucking paragraph? So there you go.)

– Stuck? Lifehacker has “Top 10 Ways to Break Into and Out of Almost Anything“.  (The World’s Best Ever)

– Bear down: Below is a picture of a mirror getting made in Tucson, Arizona. Specifically, underneath Arizona Stadium. It will go inside the world’s largest telescope because that’s how we roll in the desert:  (New Scientist)

– Slow motion for me: Birds! From BBC’s “Earthflight”:  (Gizmodo)

– Slow motion for me: Bees! (Gobs not on board):  (Carpe Diem)

– Move in slow motion for me: If Bunk doesn’t stand up and slow roll while reading this, I failed:

– No shit: Condoms are slowing HIV spread in South Africa.”  (New Scientist)

– If you don’t have an iPhone, you don’t have an iPhone… because you don’t have an iPhone: Steve Wosniak thinks Androids have better voice recognition, GPS, and turn-by-turn navigation. And this dude co-founded Apple, so yeah.  (Discovery)

– Walk like a man: If I couldn’t walk, I’d be ecstatic right about now. This “Exoskeleton” will ship later this year:  (Core77)

– They call him Bard-on, he’s the youngest buck at Bunkers: Andy made (helped make?) this well done video about Moment Skis. Side scrollin’ like a muthafacka in this bitch:  (Andy Bardon)

– Got to admit it’s getting better: The Beatles weren’t fucking lying, shit is getting better all the time. Life expectancy in the US just went up to 78.7 after 2010, a new high. I’m amazed that it only took 80 years to go from 56 to 78.7. The article linked also shows how life expectancy has coincided with real GDP per capita here in the States. I see no reason this shouldn’t keep increasing until we’ve reached whatever point it is that the human body can no longer stay alive. Dust to dust and all.  (Carpe Diem)

– For soldiers, too: Researchers at MIT have “developed a nanoscale biological coating that can halt bleeding nearly instantaneously.” Main goal is for this to go out onto the battlefield.  (Institute of Nanotechnology)

 – Eiburamu: My buddy Abram, who has lived in Japan for the past 8 years now, has been featured on Japanese television. Dude loves his ramen, Japanese love their ramen, so why not:  (Abram)

(To see more pics of ramen, head over to Yo! Japan or his tumblr or just go buy some kicks from him)

– The alcohol antidote: Chinese scientists think they have found a pill that could cure your drunkenness. Worth reading about here. I was going to quote the part about what it actually does, but I love their test too much:  (Kornfeld)

Liang first tested how well DHM alleviated drunken rats’ clumsiness and loss of coordination by measuring how long it took them to right themselves after being laid on their backs. Rats were injected with an alcohol equivalent of a human drinking 15 to 20 beers in two hours to ensure that they were sufficiently wasted. As one would expect, it took the rats about 70 minutes just to get back up on their feet. After a milligram of DHM (per kilogram of rat body weight) was added to the mixture, however, the rats were able to right themselves in just five minutes.

– The workout antidote: How about a pill that tricks your body into believing you are working out? It will trigger a hormone that “promotes the development of a type of energy-burning fat”. Don’t be scurred about the “fat” comment, the hope is that this will cut down on obesity and help those with diabetes. To wit:  (New Scientist)

Mice eating a high-fat diet that were given the gene for irisin burned more energy and had lower body weight than mice receiving a placebo

– Space, the final update: Here’s how stormy Africa looks from space:  (Geekologie)

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Weekly Update.

– Boxing: So Floyd Mayweather, Jr, won’t have to go to jail until June 1st, which now leaves no excuse in the Pacquiao camp for a May 5th fight, right? Nope. Bob “Cunty McCunterson” Arum says Manny won’t be ready to fight until sometime in June… a week after saying Manny was going to takeover Floyd’s proposed May 5th fight date. To that, I say fuck you, Bob Arum.  (ESPN)

– Ladies: Apparently you don’t like it when I open with titties. Here’s a puppy:  (The Daily What)

– Magnetic Levitation: This shit is ridiculous. I remember being pumped as all hell as a kid when toy race-car tracks began letting you switch lanes (note: don’t try switching lanes at full speed, the cars just fling off the track), but these fuckers in Japan made the sickest track of all:  (Core77)

– Texting while pissing is OK: Last update I posted a video about shit that made your clothes stain free. Now here’s something you put on your electronics to make them waterproof:  (PopSci)

– Chill out: This device from LG will cool your canned beverage in under 5 minutes. 8 minutes for a bottle of wine or two cans. ‘Cause you can can can. ‘Cause you can can can can can can can.  (Gizmodo)

– Mark it: LifeHacker presents the 2012 buying calendar, so you now know that you should buy Broadway tickets in February.  (The World’s Best Ever)

– Roll out: In December, during a high school football game at Cowboys Stadium (I feel like there should be an apostrophe after Cowboys, since it is their stadium, but I guess it’d be Blake Stadium and not Blake’s Stadium), a golf cart went buck-wa-wa-wild (I’m about to blow, light me up!) and done fucked some people up. Here’s the remixed version:  (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

– Jigga Man: If you were a rapper who just became a dad, you’d release a song with your newborn baby on it, right? Like right away? Because Jay-Z did.  (The Daily What)

– Sploosh: This is a cool shot. More here.  (Gizmodo)

– Low-gluten beer: Just as much gluten as regular beer. (Though gluten free is gluten free and tastes like shit.)  (Discovery)

– Merry New Year: Sorry I didn’t wish you a happy new year, but here are some good photos of celebratory fireworks from around the world. Here’s a sample from London:  (HongKiat)

– The good life: Back in 1966, you could have bought a 30-inch Kenmore oven for $330. Sounds cheap right? Well, you would have had to have worked, on average, 121.3 hours (not including taxes). For 121.3 hours of work today, on average, you can buy all of the below:  (Carpe Diem)

– For Muralo: Scientists at Notre Dame have figured out how to put solar cells into paint. It’s extremely inefficient, but it can be made cheaply.  (Engadget)

– Midnight Sun: Add Iceland to “places I should probably go to at some point”:  (The World’s Best Ever)

– Cold turkey: So according to some snobby fuckers at Harvard, “Nicotine therapy doesn’t help people quit smoking.” People on patches/gum were as likely to relapse as those who just stopped smoking.  (The Telegraph)

– The Marks’ Financial Update, 2011 Year in Review:

  • MAB (up 11.23%) – Bunk was our worst performing Mark for the year 2011 yet he was still up 11.23% so Harter and Mark Lee can rest easy. Bunk’s year did not start off well as he was down 40 cents in one week of trading (from $12.91 to $12.50), but ended up composing himself and not looking back. Two life events really were the spark Bunk needed. First it was the long-term contract he entered into in May that took him from $12.62 to $13.49 (that’s almost 7%). Then it was the winning in fake football that took him from $13.57 (after his last lost of the season) to his 2011 close of $14.36 (about 6%). Bunk has carried over that winning attitude into 2012, as he is up over the first week of trading.
  • MDH (up 12.80%) – Harter, our non-married Mark (I was gonna call him a restricted free agent), finished 2nd in performance. While 12.8% seems inline with the others, Harter had the biggest swings (at Big Swing!) along the way. Most notable was his 99-cent rise to start the year (that’d be a 47% increase), then his horrendous August when he was down 27%, but he closed the year out on a 22% increase from that low point. Anyway, Harter continues to be the cheapest (2011 close of $2.38), though you better be able to stomach the roller coaster.
  • MFL (up 14.32%) – Mark had a rough start to 2011, but only because he had a rough ending to 2010. From November 29th, 2010 to January 14th, 2011, Mark went from $13.61 to $11.83 (that’s down 13%). After that, Mark would look at you like that shit gravy, with a smooth rise for the rest of the year with one little bump in August. He, too, entered into a long-term contract a little after Bunk, but did not see the same type of spike that Bunk had, just a continuation of steadiness. You’d think someone missing the Moonti playoffs for his first time would have had a drop-off at the end of the year, but investors showed faith and made him our most profitable Mark in 2011.

– Gents: But them chicks never said shit about closing with some titties (true vets should have known this was coming since there was no warning at the top):  (Working Stiff 925)

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