Category Archives: Sports

NFL/College Uni Breakdown

(WARNING: This is a complete pilferage of Paul Lukas’, aka Uni Watch’s, college and NFL season previews.  I mention them below, but if you want to know absolutely everything uni-related for this season, see here for college, here for NFL, and here for the Nike Pro Combat unis.)

College football started last weekend and I forgot to mention the new set of uniforms that are out there this season.  So let’s get to it, starting with our three favorite colleges.

– Muhlenberg College: Sorry Mark, but I don’t see any changes from last year:

To this year:

Do you?

– Lynchburg College: Ha.

– Syracuse University: The Orange went from these shitty shoulder stripes:

To this:

The white guy does not approve.

– The University of Arizona: I hated the “bibs” on the back of our jerseys, which looked like this last year:

This is a typical pic of a Zona game: one of the Stoops screaming at players.  This was probably a good play, too.

This year Zona added stripes to the helmet, got rid of the bibs, and put thicker stripes on the pants.  I like the set (very clean), but am not sold on the fading of the stripes:

There are stripes on the helmet.  Trust.

Of all the above, I’d say Lynchburg is the winner.  Go ahead and celebrate:

– Other shit: Michigan States’ unis suck, Virginia wants to be the Oregon of the east with their uni choices, Notre Dame is putting ND back on their sleeves, and Boston College (along with a few others) changed their collar.  Any other team that had a uniform change will show up in this article by Paul Lukas.

– Pro combat: Nike brought back those crappy designs, which you most likely saw if you watched Boise State versus Virginia Tech on Labor Day.  This is how awful they both looked:

Anyway, along with those two teams, Alabama, Florida, Miami, Ohio State, Oregon State, Pittsburgh, TCU, and West Virginia are taking part this year.  They all pretty much suck, but you really can’t fuck up Alabama:

I put in this angle because you really can’t see the difference from their normal jersey.  This one has a hounds-tooth pattern in the numbers and the white stripe of the helmet.  Again, because he does run a site called “Uni Watch“, you can read and see all the Pro Combat unis (and when each team will wear theirs) in this ESPN article by Paul Lukas.

– The National Football League: Surprisingly, no team made a uniform change, however, some have announced throwbacks and patches.  Patches suck, so we’ll skip that.  I know I’ve posted the Packers throwbacks on here before:

And this is what the Bears are going to wear on September 27th (Packers) and November 14th (Vikings):

The Rams, Bucs, Bills, and Pats will all rock their respective throwbacks, except the Patriots are making the Chatham Patriots jersey their alternate.  Dallas won’t wear their blue jerseys at all this year, and that’s the first time in I-don’t-give-a-fuck.  The Eagles will wear a “kelly green” throwback.  And finally, you probably missed the Colts’ throwback they debuted against the 49ers in preseason:

Oh, and I didn’t see anything in the warning about no naked chicks, so here:

Enjoy the season.

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Filed under Sports, Uniforms

It was a robbery, I tell ya.

On Saturday I was witness to the worst robbery I’ve seen in an extremely long time.  I live in New York so this is really saying something.  Looking back on it I personally felt violated for having taken part in watching this occur.  Alas, there was nothing I could do to stop it nor report it.  By the time it was over my jaw was down to my knees and my head was shaking more than a bobblehead.  Shit, I looked like a porn star servicing three dicks at once. (Come on, just drop your jaw and start shaking your head… see?)  Other witnesses were as dumb founded as I was and were calling for the culprits’ heads.  It was that bad.

I’m talking, if you didn’t know, about Ali Funeka getting a majority draw for his boxing match against Joan “I-Always-Dye-My-Tape-Red…” Guzman.  Funeka broke Guzman’s nose, cut his face (on replay this was due to a headbutt, but the ref ruled it a punch), and boxed squared-circles around him.  Even in the first two rounds that were clearly Guzman’s, Funeka set the stage for the rest of the fight.  He picked Guzman apart with his jab (did I mention Funeka is a 6’1″ 134lbs boxer?) and made the smaller Guzman (again, Funeka is 6’1″) look like shit.  HBO aired the fight and their unofficial judge, Harold Lederman, had it 117-111 in favor of Funeka.  That’s 9 rounds to 3.  The real judge had it 116-112 (fine) while the two monkeys sitting ringside had it 114-114.  Unreal.  The last draw that got me this mad was Lennox Lewis vs. Evander Holyfield I.  At least that had a chick judge to blame.  Wait, the two monkeys were Canadians?  Well there you go.

Now let’s not claim that a bad judging like this one is “ruining boxing.”  Anytime you have people scoring something, someone is bound to get fucked.  It happens in College Football with the BCS.  It happens in College Basketball with teams being left out the NCAA Tournament.  It even happened in fucking FIGURE SKATING in the 2002 Olympics when Frenchie Marie-Reine Le Gougne claimed she was pressured to vote for the Russians over the Canadians.  (Hopefully, this is just the first and only time I mention figure skating on these pages).  What was ruined was a great night by Ali Funeka (I mean, 6 feet 1 inch?  One-hundred and thirty-four pounds?) who made a claim for best lightweight with that performance.

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Filed under Boxing, Sports

I Hate Monochromatic Uniforms.

There.  I said it.  If you really think that this looks better than this then you should move on.

But if you know that this is better than this, and this is terrible but this looks good, and this is crap but this is classic, then hopefully we should get along.  Monochromatic works in the NBA, NHL, MLB but doesn’t make sense in the NFL (sorry – National Football League, as any announcer on TV would say).  Find me one good monochromatic scheme in the NFL.  Oh.  Well that’s the exception.  All white works, but only if you have a white helmet.  See how much better Arizona looks in blue pants than white?

I’m not sure why teams keep thinking these uniforms are attractive, but that’s why I love the Giants.  We got blue and grey or white and grey.  Whatcha want?


Filed under Football, Sports, Uniforms