Weekly Update.

– Boxing: Besides seeing a heavyweight boxer get glassed (yes, as the English say) by David Haye, not much has been going on. I do, however, recommend getting your hair brushed before hopping on the Adrien Broner bandwagon.

– “I’m here for the gangbang.”: Apparently the noise your girl makes when you please her in bed is really her calling out to, or inviting, other men (#3 in that link). So instead of her being all, “Oooo, Jon” she’s really all, “Oooo, Jon, while I’m giving you the first chance to impregnate me over the rest of the males, I still don’t trust your sperm enough to get the job done. So I figure I’m in the mood, might as well ensure we get a bun in the oven.” Bam. Orgy. Or at least that’s what some chimps and apes do. Toss in the scientists that see no evolutionary reason for the female orgasm, but do see humans as similar to chimps and apes, and you got the “bitches be whores, man” theory. (Cracked)

– Um, speaking of women: Bad transition? Well, women are more likely to delete friends on Facebook and less likely to notice their own weight gain.  (Discovery)

– Waterworld: It exists!  (PopSci)

– Lose weight like a fat, lazy shit: Eat dessert after breakfast and workout 20 minutes a day, three days a week.  (Gizmodo)

– “Boobieblog”: That’s a name of a real site (since 2005, no less). And here’s a link to it that features Playboy Bunnies showing their, yup, boobies. Just so:  (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

– Kidneys: What’s the argument against paying people to donate their kidneys? The available kidneys to kidney needer (so not the right word) ratio is fucking terrible. Who the hell wants to go get cut up and have an organ taken out and get nothing in return except a lollipop and some Vicodin? Anyway, it makes too much sense, to me, to get paid for a major operation where they take a part of you to give to someone else, so I figure I’m missing something. The only plausible response is you are worried about the morals? Of being paid to help people? No. People will abuse the system? By having both kidneys removed? Really? If you know the answer to this question, please add a comment below so I can ridicule it. Thanks!  (Carpe Diem)

– Bear Down: Or should I say, “bare” down. Ugh. Shitty jokes aside, here’s former Wildcat (FALSE: once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat) Natalie Gulbis getting naked (look closely):  (Voorhees)

– How the zebra got its stripes: According to a new theory, zebras’ stripes evolved because flies are less likely to bite striped animals than solid color animals. I never knew flies were racists.  (New Scientist)

– Stars: I was cleaning out links I had kept, but never used, for the site and came across the below shot. Not sure which friend had shared it on Google Reader (it was from the before time, when Reader didn’t suck donkey balls), so if they remember they can leave a comment below (which I won’t ridicule).  (Wooten? Broz? Alan?)

– Fartinnügen: I’ve said it so many times now, but the Japanese are weird and have been historically. Here is a “fart scroll“:  (The Daily What)

– NY Times: OK, what the fuck is up with this paper? $5 for a Sunday edition? No wonder newspaper companies have shitty revenues these days (adjusted for inflation, they are back to 1951 revenues). Also, in 1987 the NY Times wrote an editorial suggesting a minimum wage of $0, then this year the Times pleads for New York to raise its minimum wage. On the plus side, it makes for good kindling.  (Carpe Diem)

 – Dogs: Underwater:  (Wooten)

– Dogs: On the football field. In theory. Basically they breakdown the best breed for each position, as inspired by Best In Show:  (@mattufford)

– This actually happens: Tazer Ball. It’s like team handball with a beach ball and tazers:  (io9)

– Bug life: If you’re really worried about climate change and world hunger, then you should support the movement to eat more insects. Some design people tackle the “that looks like disgusting shit, fuck off,” problem people have with insects on their plate. They also explain how much better it would be for the planet if eating insects was acceptable, which basically boils down to less costs, less feed (a lot of our food feeds our … food), and less greenhouse gasses. (I wrote about eating insects last year.)  (Core77)

– Old shit, old shit, CHINA: Excuse the weak DJ Clue bit, but scientists found a forest that has been buried in volcanic ash for 298 million years. This Pompeii-like forest was found underneath a mine in China with trees intact, similar to when scientists found humans intact when they discovered Pompeii, except not as horrific to think about.  (Gizmodo)

– Mini horses: Since we love miniature horses here, why not show an Onion video featuring the lovely animal:  (The World’s Best Ever)

– The Marks’ Financial Update:

  • MAB – Last time we checked in, Bunk was leading the Marks for the year. Since that time, he fell 3% to $15.86 (from February 7th’s $16.35) and is now in second for the year, up 10.5%. I think it was investors blaming Bunk for Costa Rica falling through, we’ll see how he redeems himself this year.
  • MFL – Mr. Lee, now 30, was up a whopping 0.09% since February 7th. That puts him at $15.28 and up 4.6% year-to-date. From February 10th to the 16th he fell to $14.83, close to his 2011 finish of $14.61, but was able to regain some composure. He has plenty of time to retain his crown from last year.
  • MDH – The other Marks had a shitty time compared to Harter, whose 11.2% rise from February 7th has put him in the lead for the year. Harter has gona from $2.38 to end 2011 to his current $2.68. That’s 12.6% by my laptop’s calculator’s calculation. I’m sure you all remember clearly, but was at $2.41 in the last update.

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