Weekly Update.

(CORRECTION: It’s “Downton Abbey” and I called it “Downtown Abbey.”)

– Boxing: Last update I started off with the statement: “We’re getting closer, I think, to a Mayweather/Pacquiao fight, but Bob Arum is still a dick.” Showing how little I fucking know about what I’m supposed to really know, Mayweather has announced that he’ll be fighting Miguel Cotto on May 5th. Then on Monday it was announced that Manny Pacquiao will fight Timothy Bradley on June 9th (as of this writing, Bradley has not officially signed). So we are now back to a zero chance of Pacquiao fighting Mayweather.

– Hulu Plus: I started using Hulu Plus recently, mainly because I wanted to catch up on Community and didn’t feel like paying $50 for one season on DVD. The biggest sell for me was that I can watch Hulu Plus through my Xbox, and not have to watch on my computer. It’s $7.99 a month for a whole shit load of content from NBC, Fox, and others. The downside is that there are commercials (just shorter breaks) and even worse, it’s only like four or five different commercials. If you end up watching a few episodes in a row, you will get extremely annoyed at the repetitive ads. Oh, and yes, Community is hilarious. I have no problem sticking it up there with Arrested Development.

– Downton Abbey: What the fuck is this show? I refuse to look into it, so any comments are welcome. I only ask because Amy Nuttall (I hope that’s pronounced “nut all”) is in it:  (The Daily What)

– And I say: A George Harrison guitar solo was stripped out of The Beatles’ “Here Comes The Sun,” which is pretty crazy that this just came out considering no one’s ever heard of The Beatles:  (Boing Boing)

– Wait, how long? Wanna watch Adriana Lima wave a flag for five hours? Here you go:  (The World’s Best Ever)

– Face/Off: The U.S. military wants to use masks to help burn victims regrow their faces. Using a mask “layered with sensors, actuators and a regenerative elixir — including stem cells — to regrow missing facial tissue.”  (Wired)

– “Moss froze the planet”: Motherfucking moss bringing about the ice age and shit. Technically the first land plants sucked carbon dioxide right out the Earth’s atmosphere, possibly dropping temperatures by 9 degrees. So kick a plant next time you see one.  (Discovery)

– Suck at golf? Buy this weed-whacking driver for when you end up in rough. Or out of bounds, or wherever anyone would let you cut the grass for them.  (Carpe Diem)

– Shadow art: The art on the wall is created by light shining on the art hanging from the ceiling:  (Core77)

– Nanos: One group of scientists are creating nanoparticles that seek out MRSA and selectively kill that harmful shit while leaving your shit alone. And then Dr. Sherif El-Safty created a “nanomaterial which enables simple detection and removal of arsenic from drinking water.”  (Institute of Nanotechnology)

– Even “nanopaint”: Maybe they are overusing “nano” everywhere, but whatever, the tech is dope. This guy created paint that can tell you of structural damage. Not like Siri tell you, more like “hey, what’s that blinking on your computer monitor?” “Shit! We gotta get the fuck outta here,” tell you.  (Engadget)

– Global economics: This paragraph is crazy:

An international team worked together to create the new material. First, transgenic goats and silkworms equipped to produce spider-silk proteins spun out the raw material in the synthetic biology lab at Utah State University. The cocoons were then shipped to South Korea, where they were reeled into thread, before being woven into fabric in Germany. The modified silk was then wedged between bioengineered skin cells developed by biochemist Abdoelwaheb El Ghalbzouri at the Leiden University Medical Center in the Netherlands. After five weeks of incubation, the hybrid skin was ready for target practice.

Then they took a fucking gun and shot that skin. And the skin stopped the bullet at slower speeds, something normal skin can’t do. Spider-silk skin, coming to a baby near you!  (New Scientist)

– Most disappointing article: “Look ma, no wings: Secret of great tit flight revealed.” Oh. Birds.  (New Scientist) (It’s actually a cool video, just no breasts.)

– The Marks Financial Update:

• MFL – Mark Lee is our worse performing Mark this year-to-date, however he is till up 3.77% and will forever hold the 2011 crown, so let the haters hate. My man’s turning 30, which means we get to find out if he’s like a running back. Investors will be watching. Mark Lee chugged along from $14.58 to $15.13 on February 7th.
• MDH – Harter just loves sitting in the middle of these two, up 4.78% for the start of the year. Not bad, but you know he should be getting a boost for hosting yet another victorious Super Bowl party. Harter stands at $2.41, up from $2.30.
• MAB – Bunk’s really pissed about his last place finish the prior year so he came out sprinting, jumping from $14.39 to $16.35 as of February 7th. We’ll keep watching you though, just ’cause your a shady shit.

– GMen: On Monday at work I was asked, “when did you get nervous?” My original reply was, “two weeks ago.” The real question is, “when were you most nervous?” It had to be with 5 minutes left after the Patriots had just converted a third down at the Giants’ 47. Another first down and there’s at least a field goal. Fortunately, three great plays happened. On 1st, Chris Canty plants The Law Firm one yard deep, and quickly. Next is the Welker drop (totally not covered on the Internet). On third down, Corey Fucking Webster crushes Branch to break up the pass. All that was left was Eli Time. And now there’s this:  (@Giants)

– Just relax: Felt like there was too much writing in this update. So here’s Camille Rowe:  (Terry Richardson)