Weekly Update.

– Correction: In the last update I called this clip Kung Fu Volleyball, because what the fuck else would you call it? Apparently it’s really called Sepak Takraw.  (Kornfeld)

– Boxing: Amir Khan stopped Zab Judah in the fifth round on July 23rd. Zab thought it was a blatant low-blow that sent him to the canvas, but Zab is an idiot to think that. The punch landed right on Zab’s belt, which was high on his waist. Either way, Zab stayed on the ground because he thought he was getting a “standing eight count”. Pretty sure you’d be standing if the ref was giving you a standing eight count.

– Heeeeeey: If your phone is smart, you’d download the “Hey Tell” application. It’s a free voice messaging ap (app? Apple says app) that works like a walkie-talkie. Maybe not the best explanation, but give it a try. It’s free. Also, if you know Harter, then he’s about to give you a two week warning for when he stops texting. Hit him on the hip or fuck off. That’s his attitude.  (Mark Lee via Craig Smith)

– JV Football: In order to join the Mountain West Conference, Boise State had to agree to not wear all blue uniforms at home during conference games. I’d consider that bush league.  (Uni Watch)

– Whittlin’ like a motherfucker: Maskull Lasserre’s whittling work was being shown up in Montreal, if you wanted to see some freaky shit like this:  (Gizmodo)

– Thirsty? Then travel 12 billion light years and find this largest body of water:

That’s water straight chillin’ in space. Scientists say that there is enough water there for every person on Earth to have their own planet’s worth of water 20,000 times over. That’s, um, a lot.  (Fast Company)

– Putin: The contest might be over, but if we have any Russian readers (nyet? Though Google translator says “het”), then you might want to submit your strip tease for a free iPad 2. Just be sure to support Putin’s bid for president:  (Ben)

– Minimum wage: Keeping minorities and teenagers out of work since 1938. New research by two economists shows what minimum wage increases do to employment:

Each 10% increase in the minimum wage [since 2007] was accompanied by a decrease in employment of 1.2% for Hispanic males, 2.5% for white males and 6.5% for black males. When looking at hours worked, we saw a similar effect: Each 10% increase in the minimum wage reduced hours worked by 1.7% for Hispanic males, 3% for white males and 6.6% for black males.

The article also notes that some 26,400 16- to 24-year-old black males lost their jobs from 2007 to 2010 thanks to forced wage increases. But no, go ahead and ignore a simple demand curve.  (Carpe Diem)

– “Gulf Coast Oilbirds”: That’s a suggested fantasy football team name from the folks at Kissing Suzy Kolber. Check out the rest of the list here. Either way, football is back.  (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

– Stencils: Hard for me to believe that this picture:

Was created with stencils and spray paint. Then I saw this video:

And now I believe. More pictures here.  (Core77)

– Liquid face: Scientists are testing out a new “liquid biomaterial” that you inject under the skin, mold, and then shine some LEDs on it to set. A pain-free way to get your face rearranged.  (Gizmodo)

– Cheap lightbulbs: Just take an empty soda bottle, fill with water and some bleach, drill a hole in your roof, and bam! Let there be light:  (Fast Company)

– Ah, boobs: And why not?  (Working Stiff 925)

– The Marks’ Financial Update:

• MDH – Harter had a fun ride, spiking at $2.94 on July 21st, but like the rest of the world he came crashing down. He closed August 5th at $2.60, a twenty-seven cent drop from his previous $2.87 close on July 7th. On the plus side, Harter is still on the plus side for the year after opening at $2.16 on January 3rd.
• MAB – Bunk dropped twenty-nine cents since his July 7th close of $13.69, leaving him at $13.40 for you math-hating assholes. I would say this is because he still calls his wife his girlfriend, but then the world got itself into the shitter, so we’ll go with “market movement”. Bunk is also still positive for the year, when he opened at $13.03.
• MFL – Could introducing Blake to Hey Tell have a positive effect on his stock? No. He went from $13.58 down to $13.03, the biggest drop of all the Marks. I’m not saying the move to Chatham has anything to do with it. OK, I said it, so what? Mark is also up for the year, he opened at $12.75, proving once again it never hurts to put your money with the Marks.

– Notes on the site: I know, I can’t really be calling these “weekly” updates anymore if I’m not going to be posting weekly. I do try, though, but work is busy so there’s less time to read up on shit. Wednesday happy hours aren’t helping either. Neither do Tuesday dinners and thirsty Thursdays and pool beer pong. Such is life. You can help, if you’d like, by sending me any dumb shit you think should be put on here. Just email it to me at blakesupdate@gmail.com. Simple. You can also use Facebook or Twitter, if you’re a thirteen-year-old girl. On the other hand, this has been a good run of titties being shown in each update. Just saying.