Weekly Update.

– Boxing: Our favorite Mexican Ginger, Saul Alvarez, beat Ricky Hatton’s brother, Matthew, to a pulp on Saturday.  The scorecards read 119-108 all three times (Alvarez was docked for hitting on the break).  Also in that link, Zab “Super Jew” Judah knocked out Kaizer “Don’t Call Me Söze” Mabuza at The Rock in Brick City, Dirty Jerz.

– Oobleck: Sorry, Heidi, but I don’t remember this stuff, at least not by name.  But I do watch Mythbusters so I do know you can walk on the non-Newtonian fluid. (And really, NPR?  People gotta come to a site that shows titties to find out what real scientists call oobleck?)  (Heidi)

– Fucking elephants: In my junior year of college, one of my partners on a project was writing an essay on elephants for another class.  While everyone else in our group worked on the actual project, he would just tell me about how fucking smart these animals are.  I remember him telling me that elephants would mourn deaths by returning to the spot where a family member had died.  Shit was crazy.  Not as crazy as finding out that “Elephants Outwit Humans During Intelligence Test.”  Even crazier?  The article is just talking about how one elephant figured out another way to solve the test… by chance.  So we don’t have to worry about an elephant uprising.  Yet.  (Discovery News)

– Ben, please get this: It’s a service that uses GPS to prevent you from texting while driving.  (Fast Company)

– Cleavage break: Oh, China:  (The World’s Best Ever)

– eReader made of silk? Possible in the near future.  (Gearlog)

– Saab, Papa, not sabe: The Blake’s have a soft spot for Saabs, which my mom’s dad (Papa) would always mispronounce.  That and Chanukah (he pronounced that spelling “cha-noo-kah”).  Anyway, as much as we love Saabs, I don’t see Alan and Penny trekking the boys up to Vermont in this one:  (Core77)

– For my shitty golfers: Spend $400 on a driver that has three different settings to tweak.  Just like the pros!  Except gayer:  (PopSci)

– Battleshot: Why not turn Battleship into a drinking game?  (Core77)

– This is for my dad: Papa Blake (not to be confused with Papa Griffith above) always claimed that he knew the pattern to Pac-Man.  Turns out, he actually could have since each ghost was given specific orders:

…it’s only Blinky, the red ghost, who doggedly pursues you throughout the game. Pinky, the pink ghost (naturally), simply wants to position itself at a point that’s 32 pixels in front of Pac-Man’s mouth. The blue ghost, Inky, is seeking to position itself at a similar fixed spot. And Clyde, the orange ghost, moves completely at random.

Ignoring the randomness of Clyde, sure Dad, you figured it out.  (Geekologie)

– All I want is one karate chop: Seriously, let me use this to chop something:  (Fast Company)

– Need a new pretty picture for your monitor? Hongkiat has over twenty underwater shots for you.  Like this one:  (Hongkiat)

– A laptop controlled by your eyes: Seriously.  (Gearlog)

– A new ketchup packet: I mean, finally!  Heinz has developed a packet that lets you dip (I dip, we dip) like a pack of barbecue sauce.  It still allows for the squeeze:  (Core77)

– How’d your team do? The regular season for college basketball has ended.  Zona won the Pac-10 regular season championship behind Derrick Williams and our boy from Harlem (New York stand UP!), Lamont “MoMo” Jones.  Like bam:

We finished with a 25-6 record, 14-4 in the final season of the Pacific 10 Conference, and one of our former players had to escape Libya.  Bunk’s school Cuse also finished 25-6 overall, but their 12-6 conference record left them 4th out of the 37 Big East schools.  As far as I can tell, this is my favorite Cuse player of all time:

Dude looked like he needed to be playing ten years earlier.  Anyway, Mark Lee’s Muhlenburg finished 13-12, 9-9 good for 6th in the Centennial Conference.  On the plus side, conference scoring AND rebound champ Spencer Liddick, a junior, is set to return next year for the Mules.  That’s nice to have your best player return for a senior year.  What’s that like?  This is him, by the way:

Don’t you go anywhere, Harter.  We got you covered, too.  Your team went 11-15 and 6-10 in the Old Dominion Athletic Conference (or ODAC, as in “oh-dack”). You had an 8th place finish and a first round exit in the conference tourney.  However, you have this guy:

His name is Nate Campbell, he’s a junior, and he is an all-ODAC first teamer.  He should not be confused with this Nate Campbell:

– Didn’t you say this site likes to show titties? I did.  And it does:  (Working Stiff 925)

– The Marks’ Financial Update:

• MAB – Bunk showed some life after I was fearing for his, he ended up fifty-one cents to $13.50.  It’s hard to keep tabs on the man down in Whorelando, Florida, but I do know the wedding plans are going swimmingly as Bunk chips in at every turn.  Is Jaime shaking her head?  She is, isn’t she?
• MFL – Mark Lee was coasting along until February 22nd when he dropped twenty cents out of nowhere, hitting a low of $12.43.  But like I said last time, Mark Lee is a BOSS and bosses live to fight another day.  He closed out at $12.61, two cents off his previous $12.63.
• MDH – I should have known investors would bail on Harter leading up to St. Paddy’s in The Boken.  The man had a gradual decline from $2.90 to $2.67 over the past couple of weeks.  While Mark Lee was crying on February 22nd, Harter jumped up to $3.08, laughing at Mark’s misfortune.  But he who laughs last must be slow on getting the joke.