Weekly Update.

– Boxing: Pacquiao is going to fight Shane Mosley, the same Mosley who got abused by Mayweather and should be fighting Andre Berto for the right to fight Pacquiao.  Meanwhile, Floyd Mayweather Jr has gotten in trouble with the guards to the gated community in which he lives.  Twice.  Here’s Floyd’s mug shot from when he stole his ex-girlfriend’s iPhone (allegedly?  Do I have to say that?):

– Knockouts: Here’s a list of top knockouts, with a bunch of honorable mentions, for 2010.  Of the ones I got to watch live, the Sergio Martinez knockout of Paul Williams was my favorite (though I hated that Williams lost).  Skip to the :46 mark to see Williams drop:  (Wooten)

– Get an iPad for Xmas? Then go read Gizmodo’s “Everything Your New iPad Needs Right Now.”  I didn’t get an iPad, but I did open Ben’s.  Hey, my mom hands me a present, I’ma open that shit.  Penny grabbed an empty box and clamped down on the gift like an alligator (picture top and bottom of box in both hands, like cymbals crashing together).  (Gizmodo)

– Keep X in Christmas: My dad pointed this out, but Wiki confirms it.  You are writing “Christmas” by writing “Xmas”, at least according to the Greeks.  And they’ve been around for awhile.  Here’s the line: “the “X” comes from the Greek letter Chi, which is the first letter of the Greek word Χριστός, translated as “Christ”.”

– Let your son have some titty: According to studies, “[b]reastfeeding improves later academic performance in boys but appears to have no such effect in girls.”  (See Toni?  Even scientists don’t put commas in front of “but”s all the time.)  So drink up, fellas!  (New Scientist)

– Real world translator: This iPhone app uses augmented reality to translate foreign languages on things you read, like signs or menus.  (If you are unsure what “augmented reality” is, it’s when you are looking through a camera lens, and random shit gets put over stuff.  So you hold your phone like taking a pic, and then things not there in real life show up on your screen.  Like the reverse of a vampire in a mirror.)  (Boing Boing)

– South Park: Hey, it was only 15 years ago when I was in Bunk’s basement and he was showing me the “Spirit of Christmas”:

15 fucking years later, I’m still wondering what would Brian Boitana do.  (The World’s Best Ever)

– Implantable chip to fight pain: Thing just straight chills on your spine to relieve you of pain when needed.  (Discovery News)

– I’ll trade you three string beans for your head of broccoli: That’s a sucker’s trade, but it could happen up in Minnesota where the St. Paul school district is outlawing “sweet, sticky, fat-laden [and] salty treats“.  And not just from being sold in vending machines or in the cafeteria, but also in packed lunches and fundraisers.  That’s right, they even want to stop bake-offs.  No cupcakes for birthdays?  Fuck you, St. Paul.  Even more fucked up is that the policy was in place for four years, but it wasn’t until a new superintendent decided to actually enforce it.  Without even seeing a pic, I’m calling the superintendent fat.  Any takers?  Here she is:

Seriously, I wrote the above before seeing a pic.  I think we should worry more about shitty teachers and outdated textbooks than if Fat Tim has a Ding Dong in his backpack.  (Reason)

– We really have it great: In 1964 it cost $750 at Sears for a color television.  If you convert that $750 into today’s dollars, you get a price tag of $5,300.  For $5,300 in 2010, you could purchase a washer, a dryer, a refrigerator, a freezer, a range, a microwave, a blender, a laptop, a GPS, a camera, a plasma HDTV, an iPod Touch, a 300-CD changer, a home theater, a Blu-Ray player, AND a TiVo.  That’s what you call ballin’ (although, I kinda question the quality of some of the items to fit it all under $5,300).  (Carpe Diem)

– Bottoms up: Literally.  This beer dispenser fills beer up from the bottom (meaning you put the cup down and then it fills up, instead of pouring it in).  Oh just watch:  (Geekologie)

– That’s grand: Republicans plan to lift the ban on electronics in the house.  (Gizmodo)

– William Morris’ wife: Not sure what the deal is with this site (William Morris’ Wife), but the guys at Kissing Suzy Kolber recommend it… and I do too.  It goes from clothed picture of Penelope Cruz to a not-so-clothed Cindy Crawford:

To a definitely-not-clothed Jenna Jameson:

To a topless Victoria Principal, who I don’t know:

– The Marks’ Financial Update:

• MDH – Harter was slightly up from $2.23 to $2.29 this time period, the direction he should be heading into for Moonti Championship weekend.  I already helped him as much as I could by giving him Jason Witten earlier this year, so you’re welcome, Harter.  The rest is up to your vaunted defense.
• MFL – The other half of the Moonti Cup was down from $12.59 to $12.30, which we can only blame on having the puppy killer lead his fantasy football team to glory.  Mark is going to have to root for a big performance from the dog murderer to be crowned champion.  But hey, that’s fantasy football for you: you root for players you hate.
• MAB – Bunk has been on a vicious slump since November 11th’s $14.69.  He now stands at $12.99, down for this period from $13.67, and I got to admit I’m a little worried.  He did get stuck in China for a day (or more?  You there, Bunk?), and the last time he spoke he was asking us what he gets in return for Jaime forgetting his middle name.  (For the record, Bunk, Penny says “Oh… well… no, I don’t want to say what he’s owed.”)

– Yup, this is my father: The best link my dad sent this week was about a father in Germany who cut off another man’s nuts for dating his daughter.  “Just a father protecting his daughter,” says Alan.  (Dad)