Weekly Update.

(WARNING: No naked chicks below.)

– First things first: The site has a new theme because WordPress hates the creator of the previous one, so they discontinued it.  As far as I can tell, the only difference is the font looks smaller.

– Boxing: Manny Pacquiao looked great against a guy 17 pounds heavier.  On the plus side, Margarito has a broken bone in his face, which is pretty fucking deserving of a guy who tried to commit murder in the ring.  Elsewhere:

• Guillermo Rigonbeaux looked like shit against a crappy fighter.  Not the best look for 2009’s Prospect of the Year.
• Saturday, HBO will replay the Pacquiao fight prior to the rematch of Sergio Martinez vs Paul Williams, which I highly recommend.
• Across ye olde pond, David Haye fought a bum for a bum’s title in a bum heavyweight division.  Our UK correspondent, Kes, gives this synopsis:

Haye circled around Harrison for the first two rounds and then knocked him down in the third. Why wait til the third? As Haye stated himself in the post-match interview, he could have done it in the first or second but he bet GBP100,000 on himself to knock Harrison down in the third.

Lovely.  Now if Haye would just get that sand out of his vagina and fight a Klitschko.

– Salt water antenna: Instead of a hunk of metal shooting up into the sky as an antenna, how about a water fountain?  It’s what the U.S. Navy would like to do.  (Core77)

– Water shucker: It’s called the Big Mother Shucker and it’s basically a water-filled compression chamber.  By submerging the lobsters for six to eight minutes in the water pressurized 60 times more than any known lobster habitat, the lobster’s skin will easily break away from its shell.  Yum.  (Wired)

– How to lie better spot fake smiles: The BBC ran a study to see how good people are spotting fake smiles.  It’s about a crap shoot for most people.  I got 14 out of 20, which is better than average.  You can take the test here, it doesn’t take long.  At the end they explain how a real smiles differ from fake smiles.  To wit:

Genuine smiles, on the other hand, are generated by the unconscious brain, so are automatic. When people feel pleasure, signals pass through the part of the brain that processes emotion. As well as making the mouth muscles move, the muscles that raise the cheeks – the orbicularis oculi and the pars orbitalis – also contract, making the eyes crease up, and the eyebrows dip slightly.

So there you go.  Next time I tell a bad joke, just remember to scrunch the eyes a little so it looks real.  (Boing Boing)

– Mythbusters: Keep your tires at the recommended air pressure for the best fuel efficiency.  You can rock a tux and scuba over to a party and show up dry.  A laptop can stop a 12 gauge shotgun, if the shot hits the laptop’s battery (otherwise you are fucked).  A hair weave, on the other hand, ain’t stopping a bullet.  Use your elbow to best capture your sneeze… you know, if you don’t mind loogies on your clothes.  Taking candy from a baby requires 25 times more strength than just picking up candy.  (If you want to see a bunch of babies cry, then watch last Wednesday’s episode.)

– 3D Printing: Made In Space is a start-up company seeking investors to help them start printing space stations in space.  That’s interesting, but we won’t see it for a while.  If you want to see some other cool “printing”, then how about this machine that prints out cobblestone streets:

Just keep feeding it bricks and it keeps laying down street.  (Space, PopSci; bricks, Gizmodo)

– Cleaner nail clipper: Don’t you hate how your nail clippings fly around when you clip your nails?  Actually, you probably hate your roommates nails flying everywhere.  Anyway, this new design puts the pressure on the nail to reduce shrapnel.  It’s called the Klhip:  (Core77)

– Use more biofuels, create more greenhouse gasses: The problem has to deal with the amount of land needed to produce the necessary fuel this world lives on.  Hint: it’s a lot.  (Gearlog)

– Illusions, Michael.  A trick is something a whore does for money: Here’s a compilation of some optical illusions, if you enjoy having your mind blown.  Here’s a creepy illusion where the dragon follows you:  (Gizmodo)

– Rangers new alternate: The Rangers unveiled a new uniform on Friday.  It’s a darker blue than usual, has “established 1926” on the inside collar, and has the retired numbers of Rangers along the hem:  (Uni Watch)

– College Basketball unis: Uni Watch comes through again, this time with a breakdown on changes in college hoops.  The biggest change this year is the allowing of manufacturers’ logos on the jersey (the Nike swoosh, for example, was only allowed on the shorts).  Some jerseys will look a little more cluttered with the NCAA logo, a brand, and a conference logo.  Most importantly, here is Arizona’s new basketball court:  (ESPN)

Personally, I still miss the cactus.

– Yankee Stadium football: If you were wondering how the Notre Dame vs Army game is going to be setup at Yankee Stadium, well look no further:  (Yankees PR Twitter)

– What’s that you say?  You’re a fan of archaeology? This is an 1,800-year-old multitool, used by the Romans sometime between A.D 201 to 300.  It’s got a lot going on, and I’d say the fork and spoon additions trump any Swiss Army Knife I’ve ever had:  (Heidi)

– The Marks’ Financial Update:

• MFL – Mark had a spark to start this period off, climbing to $14.23 on November 3rd, hung there for a day, then decided to slide on down to $13.32 to close out.  (I had to peek ahead to this current week, which is not included in this analysis, but worth noting that he was down on Monday, but investors bought him the fuck up today after Mike “Puppy Killer” Vick’s Monday Night performance for CHUCKYSCHILD.)
• MDH – The summary of Harter is that he opened at $2.48 and he closed at $2.51.  The story of Harter is that he eased to $2.44, bounced up to $2.53, held, made a “V” with a $2.52-$2.43-$2.51 out of Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday, then ended right there at $2.51.
  
• MAB – While each Mark had a couple days of flat-lining, none had a longer run then Bunk.  He stayed at $15.23 from October 29th to November 5th.  He then “moved” down a penny the next day, only to collapse to $14.69, then, of course, held that price for two days to close out the week.  A very stubborn Bunk, if I may say so myself.