Weekly Update.

(WARNING: No naked chicks below.)

– Boxing: Zab Judah looked very un-Zab Judah like in his close decision victory over Lucas Matthysse.  Juan Manuel Lopez, however, look fucking awesome against Rafael Marquez.  If you have Showtime it is completely worth watching the replay.  Both got shots in, and Marquez didn’t answer the bell for the 9th with a bum shoulder (he wasn’t gonna win anyway).  Pacquaio takes on Marga”cheater” (not my nickname) next Saturday, and I’ve begrudgingly decided to order the fight.  So, uh, if you know where I live (stalker), come by.

– What does McCarthy do? I get asked that a lot when people ask about New Jersey Beer Co., so I figured I’d quote the President and Owner, Matt Steinberg, from this article in the Ashbury Park Press:

Vice President John McCarthy “handles sales,” Steinberg said…

Lovely.  Reminds me of when Mark Lee was going to run for mayor of Hoboken and Harter was the “don’t worry about it” guy.  (As in, what does that guy do? “Don’t worry about it.”)  I believe Harter was also to be responsible for “parks and the like.”

– Oregon’s court: I know they have crazy football unis, but now they have an unorthodox basketball court as well:

It’s supposed to look like you’re in a forest looking up.  It’s also supposed to be intimidating.  Here’s the drawn version of it, the effect is a little clearer.  (Uni Watch)

– Organic food not healthier: “[I]t cannot be concluded that organically grown onions, carrots, and potatoes generally have higher contents of health-promoting secondary metabolites in comparison with the conventionally cultivated ones,” so says this report on the matter.  So you can grab the tomato grown with fertilizers and pesticides and still feel OK.  (Gearlog)

– That’s not what you use miniature horses for: A Mobile County man was arrested for boning a miniature horse.  As you’ve read before here, miniature horses can be used for many things, but they are not whores.  The man was caught because he left his wallet behind. Oh, and because the owner thought the horse was in a deep depression.  To wit:

Foster told LOCAL 15 News exclusively that when she saw the horse, named Ebony Ice, she knew immediately something was wrong.  “This horse was in deep depression, just hanging her head, she had her back end arched in the air and her tail stuck up and then of course there was blood coming out of her,” she said.

Deputies say they were able to track the assault to Easley because his wallet was found inside the horse pen.  His home is about ten minutes away from the Foster’s.

And yes, Harter, my only question is “did he try to pay the horse?”  I don’t care that the horse was named after a stripper and that she was probably asking for it, those are the givens.  (Harter)

– Easy buddy: The title of this post on The Daily What is “Slight Overreaction of the Day“.  I thought they just meant at the seven second mark when one announcer keeps screaming “it’s a lateral!”.  No.  They meant the whole thing:

For any Massholes reading this: is “nuts and bolts, we got screwed,” a normal saying up there?  Can we just say it is?  (The Daily What)

– “The 50 Awesomest Viral Videos Under 30 Seconds Long”: This article is exactly what the title says.  Here are two:

The rest are good, not awesome.  OK, here’s a third though because my dad and brother would absolutely be annoyed if I didn’t post this one as well:

In a movie with a lot of great quotes, it’s tough to beat “bitches leave.”  (Gizmodo)

– Stankpuss: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat,” so said Melissa Lee Williams while wielding a knife at her estranged husband and his friend.  The friend at first was down, but according to the police report:

[A]s Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

That’s when Melissa started threatening the men.  And really, ladies, I cannot express the importance of douching.  (Dad)

– For ERK! Because ERK! likes jammin’, and I always picture him with like 17 credit cards all in debt, I figured he’d like to know that he can turn his credit cards into guitar picks:  (Geekologie)

– Your body wants you to die: Did you know you have cells in your body that let tumors grow?  They might also be responsible for the chronic inflammation from which people with rheumatoid arthritis suffer.  These cells just chill around the perimeter letting tumors fester.  When scientists killed these so-called “FAP” cells, the tumors stopped growing.  So how about that.  (New Scientist)

– Everest vs Yosemite: Mountains can be cool.  Here’s Michael Yon’s picture of Mt. Everest:

And here is Bardon’s iPhone pic of Yosemite:

– Time to get your mind blown: Do you know what you hear changes with what you see?  So even though the guy below is only saying “bah”, we can make it sound like “fah” by dubbing the “bah” sound over the “fah” mouthing.  It’s called the McGurk Effect.  Just watch:

And seriously, watch the video, then play the sound while not watching the video.  You’ll watch and hear “fah” then not watch and hear “bah”.  Fucked up.  (The Daily What)

– Notes on the site: As always, if you have any suggestions you can send them to blakesupdate@gmail.com or Twitter, or if you happen to know me, my email or Facebook has worked for people, too.  If I ever get anything wrong, and I know I do, use the comments to call me out.

– And of course: I almost forgot about this chick.  (Almost.)  Her name is Ashley Anne Vickers (Bing image search for you), and she is a smoke show:  (The Danza Tap)

 

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