Weekly Update.

(WARNING: No editing below since my editor is in Turkey.  Who the fuck goes to Turkey?  Anyway, kill my grammar/spelling in the comments.  Oh, and psst, there are naked chicks.)

– Boxing: Erislandy Lara, my favorite up-and-comer, looked solid against a completely inferior opponent on Wednesday night, so inferior the ref stopped the fight at the first sign of trouble in the first round.  Keep your eye out for him, because even though he’s only fought thirteen professional bouts, he’s Cuban and has been fighting forever.

– Happy National Go-Topless Day: Seriously.  Because if dudes can walk around shirtless, then women should be allowed to, too.  I’m totally fine with that.  Equal rights, and all.  (Boing Boing)

– Keith Olbermann calls me an idiot, proves me right: Oh, Twitter, you can be so much fun.  Like when ?uestlove retweets a talking head’s comment about how he lacks viewers, giving me a good opportunity to make a joke.  Here’s what ?uestlove did:

RT @KeithOlbermann: Fox, if 3 x’s more people watch, what does that say about U? Says I’m not lying enough to get Fox viewers to watch me

Here’s what I then did:

Or you just suck. RT @questlove: RT @KeithOlbermann: Fox, if 3 x’s more people watch, I’m not lying enough to get Fox viewers to watch me

Funny, right?  It’s Twitter, it’s like a heckle at a sporting event.  And that’s why I was so surprised that Olbermann responded:

@jblake33 No, because then I wouldn’t have the top ratings of anybody not on Fox. It’s the not lying to idiots like you.

Is Olbermann three years old or what?  Who quotes their ratings in a response to “you suck”?  That’s like A-Rod stepping out of the batter box and yelling up to a heckler, “no, I don’t suck because otherwise I wouldn’t have won the MVP three times, idiot!”  So anyway, I feel like he couldn’t have proven me anymore right.  Here’s how I responded to him, if you were wondering:

@KeithOlbermann I don’t watch fox, but thanks for the tweet.

Actually, I take that A-Rod analogy back, since A-Rod is actually good.  This is more like a Division II athlete (MSNBC, anyone?) yelling back to the crowd “no, I don’t suck because then I wouldn’t have been on the third team All-America, idiot!”  So yes, Mr. Olbermann, you do suck.  If you really think Fox gets more viewers because they lie and not because they know how to be more entertaining, then you are a whiny bitch.  As much as I hate Glenn Beck for his minister act, I hate whiny bitches and pompous assholes much more and you, sir, are both.  How else could I describe a “newsman” with a segment called “Worst Person in the World” that doesn’t list mass murderers?  Really?  Bill O’Reilly is a worse person than Kim Jong-il?  How Anthony Sowell never won this segment is beyond belief.  Unless he did, I wouldn’t know because I don’t watch Olbermann, either.  Here’s hoping Olbermann proves me even more right by responding to a post that will get, at most, 70 views.

– I didn’t know this: Rolling shutter.  Have you heard about this?  Have you read about this?  It creates images like this:

Due to the fact that your camera’s shutter is delayed across the image, either from top to bottom or from left to right.  (Wiki)

– Hard Knocks: Antonio Cromartie, one of the newer Jets, recently listed his kids during the show.  Interesting how most of his kids are 3:

I liked the guys at Kissing Suzy Kolber who said of this segment, “Antonio Cromartie PRO TIP: If it takes more than 30 seconds to list all of your children, there’s a fair chance you’ve done some f*cking in your life. All of it unprotected.”

– The Truth Is a Cave in the Black Mountains: Go here to read this short story by Neil Gaiman.  Do you agree with the dwarf:

“Sometimes I think that truth is a place. In my mind, it is like a city: there can be a hundred roads, a thousand paths, that will all take you, eventually, to the same place. It does not matter where you come from. If you walk toward the truth, you will reach it, whatever path you take.”

Or do you agree with the reaver?:

“You are wrong. The truth is a cave in the black mountains. There is one way there, and one only, and that way is treacherous and hard, and if you choose the wrong path you will die alone, on the mountainside.”

Either way, the story is typical Gaiman.  Mythic, dark, and superbly written.  At least in my opinion, which is worth nothing on these matters.  Did I mention the story involves some killing?  Who doesn’t like killing?  (Neil Gaiman’s Journal)

– Perseids meteor shower: Did you get a chance to watch this two weeks ago?  No?  Whatever, watch this then:  (Gizmodo)

– How to disable Facebook Places: Don’t want to check in or have friends check you in?  Then read up.  (Boing Boing)

– Whiskey into biofuel: Scottish scientists have found a way to turn two byproducts from making whiskey into butanol, which can then be mixed in with gasoline or diesel.  Drink up.  (PopSci)

– Spray-on solar panels: Hopefully in 2016 you’ll be able to spray this film onto your windows and have some of your own solar paneling.  Downside: tinted windows.  Wait, that’s not a downside, that’s badass.  A tinted out house?  Ballin’.  (Gizmodo)

– Japanese manhole covers: Apparently they like to doll up their manholes in Japan:  (Core77)

– Nine iPad accessories: I know like… two people with one, but whatever.  If you have an iPad, go here to check out what you may be missing.  Like the iMaxi:  (Gearlog)

– First porno in IMAX 3D: 3-D Sex & Zen: Extreme Ecstasy is currently being filmed with IMAX 3D cameras in Hong Kong.  If you still go to the movie theater to watch porn, let the other 99% of us know how that goes.  (Gizmodo)

– Beer goggles explained, scientifically: Scientists have found that alcohol affects your ability to spot symmetrical faces, which are the type of faces you find attractive.  Most importantly, “Men appear to be less prone to losing this ability than women when drinking.”  Silly ladies, drunken hookups are for men.  (Discovery)

– Trombone Shorty: He’s performing at the South Street Seaport in NYC on Thursday, August 26th, 2010.  Get tickets here, if still available.  Then you can come hang out with me.  Other people and friends will be there, but you don’t care about them.

– Brazilians: Wooten passed along this research gem: “Beauty-conscious Brazilians take more showers, use more hair conditioner and brush their teeth more often than residents of any other country, P&G research shows.”  So why not show their cleanliness:  (Fuck Yeah Brazilian Girls)

So clean.

– The Marks’ Financial Update:

  • MDH – Harter started off heading down to $2.04 on August 12th, but then bounced up to finish off the previous two week period at $2.31, up from his previous period’s close of $2.19.  It was a steady climb, and the kind of climb that can lead to something great if he keeps this momentum going.  The Moonti Fantasy Football Draft is looming, and it’s looming large, Harter.
  • MFL – Well something woke up Mark Lee, and I’m just gonna go ahead and assume it was the strap-on scene from the Real L Word as well as the thought of going to Dinah Shore for his bachelor party (we’re just filming a documentary, ladies).  After closing last period at $14.55, he dipped down to $14.48 and then rocketed up in one day to $14.73 and closed the week at $14.75.  Keep on keeping on, Mark, since last season’s Moonti debacle still hangs heavy over your head.
  • MAB – Bunk was all about the fake out these last two weeks with a jump up to $15.17 on August 10th, then a dip down to $15.04, and a close of $15.07, one cent below his August 6th close of $15.08.  Besides not liking jokes about me sending him a severed head, Bunk apparently does not like success.

– Notes on the site: My ass is on vacation this week, which means I may post something mid-week.  If you’re nice.  If you want something like the Rhodesian Ridgeback or the Miniature horses posts, drop me a line at (and I always wanted to do this even though I don’t know why every site does) blakesupdate [at] gmail [dot] com.

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