Monthly Archives: August 2010

(WARNING: No naked chicks below.)

– Boxing: How about some animal punching bags?  And gloves and speedbags… yeah.  Be pretty fucked up to walk into someone’s basement and see this shit:

And I’m pretty sure Floyd Mayweather wore these boxing gloves at some point:  (The World’s Best Ever)

– Big Boi: Sir Lucious Left Foot… The Son of Chico Dusty.  New album by Big Boi is really good, the songs “Follow Us” and “Shutterbugg” get stuck easily inside your head (ask Wooten), I also like “Tangerine” with TI and “You Ain’t No DJ“.

– His Royal Highness Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Bin Abdulaziz Alsaud: If you watch The Daily Show, then you saw Jon Stewart have a field day with Fox News this week.  The bozos on Fox News were claiming that Kingdom Holding Company, headed by some evil terrorist, was helping to fund the Muslim community center being built in lower Manhattan.  The Chairman of Kingdom Holding Company, as Stewart rightly points out, is Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal… who owns a 7% stake in News Corp.  Here’s a list, according to Kingdom Holding Company’s website, of other investments by the “terrorist”:

• Apple Inc.
• Citigroup Inc.
• Eastman Kodak Corporation
• eBay Inc.
• Four Seasons Hotels Inc.
• George V Hotel (Paris)
• Hewlett-Packard Co.
• Motorola Inc.
• PepsiCo Inc.
• Priceline.com Inc.
• SAKS Inc.
• SAKS Saudi Arabia
• Time Warner Inc.
• The Plaza Hotel (New York)
• The Savoy Hotel (London)
• The Walt Disney Company

Bottom line?  According to Fox News you fund terrorism, you filthy fucker.

– Gridlock, it’s not just for China: Considering the stock market is more likely to rise when Congress is not in session (aka not doing anything), it stands to reason that the stock market does pretty well when Congress is in gridlock (aka not doing anything).  (Ben)

– You smell like PUSSY: Bunk thought he was all cool sending me this link to a perfume, Vulva, that mimics the smell of a vagina.  Unfortunately this is old news (easiest/earliest I found was 2007).  Go here to watch a guy sniff a bike seat at a gym.  They have some wallpapers and videos here.  And if you don’t get the “smell like pussy” reference, go here.  (Bunk)

– Mac sells out: McCarthy is a Rangers and Knicks fan, but here he is talking up the Devils and Nets playing at the Prudential Center in Newark.  Watch Cory Booker, mayor of Newark, give some shout outs to microbreweries before Mac comes on to represent at 1:23:  (McCarthy)

– Blind Soccer: Are you not entertained?  (Wired)

– 50 Cent: What.  The.  Fuck.  Dude.  Seriously?  You photoshopped yourself as Hitler:

I wish I could say some site was running a “photoshop 50 Cent into any dictator” contest, but I can’t.  The above picture was tweeted by 50 Cent’s verified Twitter account.  He also did an Osama Bin Laden pic, Hannibal Lector, and Saddam Hussein.  Really not sure why, but he’s taken over his Twitter account from his handler and it’s been interesting, obviously.

– The top 50 music videos of the 1990s: According to Pitchfork.  The list is heavy on Spike Jonze, Michel Gondry, and Chris Cunnigham directed videos.  These lists are always fun and always so arbitrary.  (Boing Boing)

– Frog-based electronic noses: Apparently “e-noses” have been around for sometime and are used in food production lines to spot tainted food, but are not 100% accurate.  Scientists at the University of Tokyo have genetically modified cells from a frog to give better accuracy to the e-noses.  (New Scientist)

– Real or fake? In the video below, people were asked about certain aspects of the stimulus package and whether they were real or fake:

Pretty appalling stuff, if you ask me, but you didn’t.  If you are addicted to cigarettes and don’t have a blackberry, you might want to get on that then.  (The article this came from also has some good “unintended consequences” of the stimulus package.)  (Carpe Diem)

– Asteroids: 500,000 have been found in our solar system since 1980.  Check the explosion that occurs in 1999/2000:  (PopSci)

– Bus paint job: I would have no problem riding this bus, even though buses are for poor people:  (Dad)

(WARNING: No editing below since my editor is in Turkey.  Who the fuck goes to Turkey?  Anyway, kill my grammar/spelling in the comments.  Oh, and psst, there are naked chicks.)

– Boxing: Erislandy Lara, my favorite up-and-comer, looked solid against a completely inferior opponent on Wednesday night, so inferior the ref stopped the fight at the first sign of trouble in the first round.  Keep your eye out for him, because even though he’s only fought thirteen professional bouts, he’s Cuban and has been fighting forever.

– Happy National Go-Topless Day: Seriously.  Because if dudes can walk around shirtless, then women should be allowed to, too.  I’m totally fine with that.  Equal rights, and all.  (Boing Boing)

– Keith Olbermann calls me an idiot, proves me right: Oh, Twitter, you can be so much fun.  Like when ?uestlove retweets a talking head’s comment about how he lacks viewers, giving me a good opportunity to make a joke.  Here’s what ?uestlove did:

RT @KeithOlbermann: Fox, if 3 x’s more people watch, what does that say about U? Says I’m not lying enough to get Fox viewers to watch me

Here’s what I then did:

Or you just suck. RT @questlove: RT @KeithOlbermann: Fox, if 3 x’s more people watch, I’m not lying enough to get Fox viewers to watch me

Funny, right?  It’s Twitter, it’s like a heckle at a sporting event.  And that’s why I was so surprised that Olbermann responded:

@jblake33 No, because then I wouldn’t have the top ratings of anybody not on Fox. It’s the not lying to idiots like you.

Is Olbermann three years old or what?  Who quotes their ratings in a response to “you suck”?  That’s like A-Rod stepping out of the batter box and yelling up to a heckler, “no, I don’t suck because otherwise I wouldn’t have won the MVP three times, idiot!”  So anyway, I feel like he couldn’t have proven me anymore right.  Here’s how I responded to him, if you were wondering:

@KeithOlbermann I don’t watch fox, but thanks for the tweet.

Actually, I take that A-Rod analogy back, since A-Rod is actually good.  This is more like a Division II athlete (MSNBC, anyone?) yelling back to the crowd “no, I don’t suck because then I wouldn’t have been on the third team All-America, idiot!”  So yes, Mr. Olbermann, you do suck.  If you really think Fox gets more viewers because they lie and not because they know how to be more entertaining, then you are a whiny bitch.  As much as I hate Glenn Beck for his minister act, I hate whiny bitches and pompous assholes much more and you, sir, are both.  How else could I describe a “newsman” with a segment called “Worst Person in the World” that doesn’t list mass murderers?  Really?  Bill O’Reilly is a worse person than Kim Jong-il?  How Anthony Sowell never won this segment is beyond belief.  Unless he did, I wouldn’t know because I don’t watch Olbermann, either.  Here’s hoping Olbermann proves me even more right by responding to a post that will get, at most, 70 views.

– I didn’t know this: Rolling shutter.  Have you heard about this?  Have you read about this?  It creates images like this:

Due to the fact that your camera’s shutter is delayed across the image, either from top to bottom or from left to right.  (Wiki)

– Hard Knocks: Antonio Cromartie, one of the newer Jets, recently listed his kids during the show.  Interesting how most of his kids are 3:

I liked the guys at Kissing Suzy Kolber who said of this segment, “Antonio Cromartie PRO TIP: If it takes more than 30 seconds to list all of your children, there’s a fair chance you’ve done some f*cking in your life. All of it unprotected.”

– The Truth Is a Cave in the Black Mountains: Go here to read this short story by Neil Gaiman.  Do you agree with the dwarf:

“Sometimes I think that truth is a place. In my mind, it is like a city: there can be a hundred roads, a thousand paths, that will all take you, eventually, to the same place. It does not matter where you come from. If you walk toward the truth, you will reach it, whatever path you take.”

Or do you agree with the reaver?:

“You are wrong. The truth is a cave in the black mountains. There is one way there, and one only, and that way is treacherous and hard, and if you choose the wrong path you will die alone, on the mountainside.”

Either way, the story is typical Gaiman.  Mythic, dark, and superbly written.  At least in my opinion, which is worth nothing on these matters.  Did I mention the story involves some killing?  Who doesn’t like killing?  (Neil Gaiman’s Journal)

– Perseids meteor shower: Did you get a chance to watch this two weeks ago?  No?  Whatever, watch this then:  (Gizmodo)

– How to disable Facebook Places: Don’t want to check in or have friends check you in?  Then read up.  (Boing Boing)

– Whiskey into biofuel: Scottish scientists have found a way to turn two byproducts from making whiskey into butanol, which can then be mixed in with gasoline or diesel.  Drink up.  (PopSci)

– Spray-on solar panels: Hopefully in 2016 you’ll be able to spray this film onto your windows and have some of your own solar paneling.  Downside: tinted windows.  Wait, that’s not a downside, that’s badass.  A tinted out house?  Ballin’.  (Gizmodo)

– Japanese manhole covers: Apparently they like to doll up their manholes in Japan:  (Core77)

– Nine iPad accessories: I know like… two people with one, but whatever.  If you have an iPad, go here to check out what you may be missing.  Like the iMaxi:  (Gearlog)

– First porno in IMAX 3D: 3-D Sex & Zen: Extreme Ecstasy is currently being filmed with IMAX 3D cameras in Hong Kong.  If you still go to the movie theater to watch porn, let the other 99% of us know how that goes.  (Gizmodo)

– Beer goggles explained, scientifically: Scientists have found that alcohol affects your ability to spot symmetrical faces, which are the type of faces you find attractive.  Most importantly, “Men appear to be less prone to losing this ability than women when drinking.”  Silly ladies, drunken hookups are for men.  (Discovery)

– Trombone Shorty: He’s performing at the South Street Seaport in NYC on Thursday, August 26th, 2010.  Get tickets here, if still available.  Then you can come hang out with me.  Other people and friends will be there, but you don’t care about them.

– Brazilians: Wooten passed along this research gem: “Beauty-conscious Brazilians take more showers, use more hair conditioner and brush their teeth more often than residents of any other country, P&G research shows.”  So why not show their cleanliness:  (Fuck Yeah Brazilian Girls)

So clean.

– The Marks’ Financial Update:

• MDH – Harter started off heading down to $2.04 on August 12th, but then bounced up to finish off the previous two week period at $2.31, up from his previous period’s close of $2.19.  It was a steady climb, and the kind of climb that can lead to something great if he keeps this momentum going.  The Moonti Fantasy Football Draft is looming, and it’s looming large, Harter.
• MFL – Well something woke up Mark Lee, and I’m just gonna go ahead and assume it was the strap-on scene from the Real L Word as well as the thought of going to Dinah Shore for his bachelor party (we’re just filming a documentary, ladies).  After closing last period at $14.55, he dipped down to $14.48 and then rocketed up in one day to $14.73 and closed the week at $14.75.  Keep on keeping on, Mark, since last season’s Moonti debacle still hangs heavy over your head.
• MAB – Bunk was all about the fake out these last two weeks with a jump up to $15.17 on August 10th, then a dip down to $15.04, and a close of $15.07, one cent below his August 6th close of $15.08.  Besides not liking jokes about me sending him a severed head, Bunk apparently does not like success.

– Notes on the site: My ass is on vacation this week, which means I may post something mid-week.  If you’re nice.  If you want something like the Rhodesian Ridgeback or the Miniature horses posts, drop me a line at (and I always wanted to do this even though I don’t know why every site does) blakesupdate [at] gmail [dot] com.

(WARNING: No naked chicks below.)

– Boxing: Saturday night Jean Pascal’s head split open Chad Dawson’s eye to win a technical decision in the 11th round.  Besides the gushing of blood from Chad’s right eye, the other highlight was Jim Lampley excitedly proclaiming “French Canadians love boxing!” as the crowd in Montreal roared approval.

– Soccer, er fútbol: English Premier League debuted this weekend and in preparation the Uni Watch Blog did a run down of every team’s kit.  The biggest note, I guess, is Chelsea’s black away kit:  (Uni Watch)

“OK, look serious.  Now seriouser.  More seriouser.“

Liverpool is no longer sponsored by Carlsberg, Everton got rid of the v-neck look, and Arsenal rocked an all yellow kit on Sunday that was horrible.  And of course I give on-going props to West Ham United for taking their colors from Chatham Township:

– Alien Obama: “But you’re interpreting it as being Obama.  We’re not interpreting it as Obama.”  So says Irvin L. Good Jr., the president of Goodtime Amusements.  He was talking about this game in Roseta, Pennsylvania:

When reporters pointed out that the presidential seal and the health bill may give the impression it’s Obama, Good replied “you may be right there.”  Of course, leave it to someone from out of town to put up a stink.  Here’s the whining of a Massachusetts woman:

“We were appalled to find that a shooting game had as its target the unmistakable image of President Obama,” Kathryn Chapman and her family said in a letter in Monday’s editions of The Express-Times. “The message appears to be that if you don’t agree with the president, ‘shoot him.’”

Actually, to me, the message is if you’re at a carnival and there is game called “Alien Attack” and one of the aliens is disguised as our president, ‘shoot him.’  (Boing Boing)

– “If you tax something, you get less of it”: That’s Dr. Mark J. Perry’s mantra over at his Carpe Diem blog.  His two examples this week are the average $6.20 tax per pack of cigarettes in New York and “a new U.K. tax rule that imposes a top rate of income tax of 50 percent on athletes, not just on the income earned in the U.K., but also on a proportion of their worldwide sponsorship and endorsement income.”  The former was supposed to generate $260 million for the state (sales at most convenience stores were down anywhere from 25 to 45 percent, while non-taxed Native American shops increased sales up to 60%), and the latter has made Usain Bolt and some golfers choose not to compete in the U.K.  It’s estimated that Tiger Woods would be taxed £1 million.  (Carpe Diem)

– Unsuck-it.com: Go to this site if you want to see business jargon like “at the end of the day” turned into “in conclusion.”  (Boing Boing)

– Other sites: For those who think they’ve hit the end of the internet, relax.  If you haven’t found Cracked.com yet, then you aren’t there.  They recently ran a piece showing how every movie looks the same (especially due to the overuse of teal and orange filters).  Also Kissing Suzy Kolber is a decent site, especially on Mondays when they butcher Peter King’s MMQB, Thursdays when they run the Sex/Fantasy Football mailbag, and then, of course, Fridays for Sexy Fridays.

– El Capitan: According to ol’ Wikipedia,”El Capitan is a 3,000-foot (910 m) vertical rock formation in Yosemite National Park.”  Bardon took this picture and posted it on his photography site:  (Andy Bardon Photography)

– FLIP: This is the name of a ship that “flips” into a stable platform.  It was built by scientists in the 60s.  Really?  The 1960s and the best name you got is FLIP?  Creative name, guys:  (Core77)

– Breath test could reveal cancer: Still in the early stages, but would mean less cutting and testing to see if you have cancer.  Just breath (not toward me, asshole).  (Discovery)

– Pop-Tarts World: Comes to Times Square this week, stop by so you can taste Pop-Tarts Sushi, “three kinds of Pop-Tarts minced and then wrapped in a fruit roll-up.”  Hey, in internal testing, it was the winner.  (NY Times)

– Wanna buy the house from Ferris Bueller? The price recently dropped to $1.65 million for this iconic house:  (Core77)

– Oh, Seattle: A woman was “attacked with a bucket of urine, feces and vomit” outside her apartment building in Seattle.  Sounds lovely.  (Wooten)

– How black people use Twitter: It’s estimated that Twitter’s population is about 25% black (and 51% white).  I estimate that trending topics are like 99% black.  This guy from Slate.com agrees (well, maybe he doesn’t agree, but he does explain how black people do this while white people do that).

– More love for FiOS: Verizon FiOS will be getting the first NFL 3D broadcast on September 2nd.  Of course the Giants are the team they choose (and some other team that once went 18-1).  (Engadget)

– Darkness: Watch this storm creep up on a Finland beach:  (Boing Boing)

– Romo’s Bitch: No, this isn’t about Tony’s new girl or new dog, for that matter, but rather an Air Force pilot’s call sign.  The other suggested and rejected call signs were “Fagmeister” and “Gay Boy”.  Steve “Romo’s Bitch” Crowston is not amused and thinks the other pilots don’t like him (what gave him that impression?).   (Uni Watch)

– Agent Provocateur: Apparently this site sells lingerie.  But you’ll be more interested in the “Private Tapes“:  (The World’s Best Ever)

Told you there were no naked chicks.