Weekly Update.

(WARNING: No naked chicks nor editing, so kill my grammar in the comments.)

– Boxing: The boxing world is heated over the Mayweather-Pacquiao bullshit.  Mayweather claims he doesn’t really care for fighting this year, and that’s exactly what Bob Arum wants.  Now Arum’ll be able to put his own fighter, Pacquiao, up against one of his other fighters in Miguel Cotto, who Pacquiao crushed already, or Antonio “I totally didn’t know I was trying to kill my opponents, seriously, even though anyone who’s ever boxed called me a liar” Margarito.

  • Next weekend is Juan Manuel Marquez v. Juan Diaz II, HBO PPV.  I’ll be getting it, if I’m here and not down in AC for the Blues, Brews, & BBQ event where New Jersey Beer Company will be.
  • Demner wants you to know about Timothy Bradley, who after an unanimous decision win at 140lbs on Saturday, according to ESPN, “immediately called out Manny Pacquiao, two-belt 140-pound champion Devon Alexander, fellow junior welterweights Marcos Maidana and Amir Khan.”  Bradley is legit, but I don’t think he has that star-appeal.

– Inception: Saw this on Thursday with Woobag and I think there were too many outside variables for me to accurately rate this movie.  Basically I’m saying I didn’t love it, but willing to cede to the following: all showings were sold out, so the theatre was packed; the air condition must have turned off about 20 minutes into the movie; we sat in the fourth row; dumb bitches sat behind us (you know exactly what I’m talking about); the movie was pretty hyped up.  The last one is the most important.  I recommend seeing it, because the sound effects and visions are great.  The idea (kinda like lucid dreaming) is great.  Their concept that an idea is more potent than a virus… sure.

– Robberies: Gizmodo claims this was the most badass bank heist, in which the robbers landed on the roof in a helicopter and then cut glass to drop down inside.  On the opposite side of the spectrum, my dad sent along this article detailing a McDonald’s drive-thru robbery in which a meth-head with panties on her face took money from the McD’s to go to the casino to try to pay off her water bill.  Oh, she has a gambling problem as well as a drug problem, if you didn’t figure that out.  Last, but not least, Darth Vader was seen in Long Island robbing a bank as well.  As the article notes, why was Darth using a gun? Seems like a waste of talent.  (badass, Gizmodo; MethD’s, Dad; Vader, Brosnan)  (Also, when I sent the Vader story to my dad, after he sent the meth-head one, his response was “you beat me to the punch, I was going to get to it but the transvestite story got ahead of it.”)

– What transvestite story? This one about a transvestite in England porking a dog in a moat at a castle.  He received only a “caution.”  Which is like the yellow card of law enforcement.  Anytime your law enforcement gets compared to soccer, you know it’s a joke.  (Dad)

– Hate walking through crowds? Here’s how to navigate better (basically, keep your head down, watch people’s feet, and plow through unapologetically).  Warning: You will be a complete dickhead if you try these tactics, you will also miss out on any good sights that may be in the crowd (pervert).  After a quick field test though, it definitely works and you most likely do some of this stuff automatically.  Especially the “shark fin” at a bar (just don’t do it near Woo, he has promised toe stompage).  (Wired)

– Roadkill bottles: A brewery in Scotland that excels in high-alcohol content beer has decided to bottle their beer inside of roadkill.  Seriously.  They shoved a bottle into a dead squirrel, filled it with beer, and then sold it.  They only did it for 12 bottles, and got $770 for the set:  (Wooten)

– Female Israeli soldiers: Rachel Papo, an Israeli, took a lot photographs of Israeli female soldiers.  Some good shots at her website, but I wanted to be a complete dick for a moment and edit her “Statement” page (my changes in bold):  (The World’s Best Ever)

At an age when social, sexual, and educational explorations are at their highest point, the life of an eighteen-year-old Israeli girl is interrupted. She or he is plucked from her or his home surroundings and placed in a rigorous institution where her or his individuality is temporarily forced aside in the name of nationalism. During the next two years, immersed in a regimented and masculine environment, she or he will be transformed from a girl or boy to a woman or man, respectively, within the framework of an army that is engaged in daily war and conflict. She or he is now a soldier serving her or his country, in a military camp amidst hundreds like her or him, yet beneath the uniform there is someone wishing to be noticed, listened to, and understood.

I know she’s focusing only the women for her piece, and that’s fine, but her original wording makes it seem like it’s completely unfair to the women of Israel.  If that’s your argument, then it’s also unfair to the men of Israel and that should be noted.

– Want to create your own, personalized font? Grab a Pilot pen, a template, some software, and get to work:  (Core77)

– Parasailing donkey: Watch when the donkey gets yanked up into the air, it’s quite funny and you can just imagine how flipped out that donkey must have been:  (With Leather)

– Pornstar nerd: Her name is Jelena Jenson and not only does she take cock with the best of them, she also codes websites with the nerdiest of them.  If I ever hire someone to do web design, how could I not hire a pornstar?  Only makes sense. (Also, Editor Toni should be worried, as soon as I find a pornstar with a literary degree, Toni might get bounced.)  (Gizmodo)

– Ladies: Do you sugar your vagina?  (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

– When Containers and Packaging doesn’t suck: Wooten, fully awake for his job, found that one of the companies they follow make the “metered dose valve” for a cannabis spray-delivery developed by GWPharma.  (Wooten)

– The Marks’ Financial Update:

  • MAB – A bit of a down period here for the Bunkman, dropping to $14.83 from $15.27.  The best news, even better than his ass coming back to NYC/C-Town for another weekend, is that Bunk pays a dividend.  Buy a share and Bunk will kick you 0.47% of the stock back to you.  He paid out $0.07 on July 21st. 
  • MDH – Harter was looking at a down period until he keeps “doing what he doing” (thanks Floyd Mayweather, Sr.) and bounced back on the later part of this week.  He had touched $2.16, then three straight days and my man finishes at $2.49.  Investors are excited for the opportunities at his “company thing at the Yankee game” Friday night.
  • MFL – Dude, seriously?  You’re gonna open at $14.21 on July 12th and close at $14.21 on July 23rd?  This isn’t the first time you pulled this flat shit, and quite frankly, I don’t know how to take this.  My boy all grown up and stable?  Look, when the you have the press conference to announce the move of CHUCKYSCHILD (that’s how you have it, that’s how I write it) headquarters out to Jets’ territory, at least let me get the exclusive?  We can so do a “The Decision”.  I can easily be a bigger douche than Jim Gray.


Filed under Weekly Update

6 responses to “Weekly Update.

  1. Editor Toni

    1. You really hate not putting a comma before a “but” unless I tell you to do so.
    2. I love donkeys and feel really bad for that poor thing in the sky.
    3. I’m not exactly shaking in my boots worrying about you finding a pornstar with a literary degree… or any degree for that matter. However, stranger things have been know to happen. Good luck!

  2. Wooten

    (gic) butt lovers

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