Monthly Archives: July 2010

(WARNING: No naked chicks nor editing, so kill my grammar in the comments.)

– Boxing: The boxing world is heated over the Mayweather-Pacquiao bullshit.  Mayweather claims he doesn’t really care for fighting this year, and that’s exactly what Bob Arum wants.  Now Arum’ll be able to put his own fighter, Pacquiao, up against one of his other fighters in Miguel Cotto, who Pacquiao crushed already, or Antonio “I totally didn’t know I was trying to kill my opponents, seriously, even though anyone who’s ever boxed called me a liar” Margarito.

• Next weekend is Juan Manuel Marquez v. Juan Diaz II, HBO PPV.  I’ll be getting it, if I’m here and not down in AC for the Blues, Brews, & BBQ event where New Jersey Beer Company will be.
• Demner wants you to know about Timothy Bradley, who after an unanimous decision win at 140lbs on Saturday, according to ESPN, “immediately called out Manny Pacquiao, two-belt 140-pound champion Devon Alexander, fellow junior welterweights Marcos Maidana and Amir Khan.”  Bradley is legit, but I don’t think he has that star-appeal.

– Inception: Saw this on Thursday with Woobag and I think there were too many outside variables for me to accurately rate this movie.  Basically I’m saying I didn’t love it, but willing to cede to the following: all showings were sold out, so the theatre was packed; the air condition must have turned off about 20 minutes into the movie; we sat in the fourth row; dumb bitches sat behind us (you know exactly what I’m talking about); the movie was pretty hyped up.  The last one is the most important.  I recommend seeing it, because the sound effects and visions are great.  The idea (kinda like lucid dreaming) is great.  Their concept that an idea is more potent than a virus… sure.

– Robberies: Gizmodo claims this was the most badass bank heist, in which the robbers landed on the roof in a helicopter and then cut glass to drop down inside.  On the opposite side of the spectrum, my dad sent along this article detailing a McDonald’s drive-thru robbery in which a meth-head with panties on her face took money from the McD’s to go to the casino to try to pay off her water bill.  Oh, she has a gambling problem as well as a drug problem, if you didn’t figure that out.  Last, but not least, Darth Vader was seen in Long Island robbing a bank as well.  As the article notes, why was Darth using a gun? Seems like a waste of talent.  (badass, Gizmodo; MethD’s, Dad; Vader, Brosnan)  (Also, when I sent the Vader story to my dad, after he sent the meth-head one, his response was “you beat me to the punch, I was going to get to it but the transvestite story got ahead of it.”)

– What transvestite story? This one about a transvestite in England porking a dog in a moat at a castle.  He received only a “caution.”  Which is like the yellow card of law enforcement.  Anytime your law enforcement gets compared to soccer, you know it’s a joke.  (Dad)

– Hate walking through crowds? Here’s how to navigate better (basically, keep your head down, watch people’s feet, and plow through unapologetically).  Warning: You will be a complete dickhead if you try these tactics, you will also miss out on any good sights that may be in the crowd (pervert).  After a quick field test though, it definitely works and you most likely do some of this stuff automatically.  Especially the “shark fin” at a bar (just don’t do it near Woo, he has promised toe stompage).  (Wired)

– Roadkill bottles: A brewery in Scotland that excels in high-alcohol content beer has decided to bottle their beer inside of roadkill.  Seriously.  They shoved a bottle into a dead squirrel, filled it with beer, and then sold it.  They only did it for 12 bottles, and got $770 for the set:  (Wooten)

– Female Israeli soldiers: Rachel Papo, an Israeli, took a lot photographs of Israeli female soldiers.  Some good shots at her website, but I wanted to be a complete dick for a moment and edit her “Statement” page (my changes in bold):  (The World’s Best Ever)

At an age when social, sexual, and educational explorations are at their highest point, the life of an eighteen-year-old Israeli girl is interrupted. She or he is plucked from her or his home surroundings and placed in a rigorous institution where her or his individuality is temporarily forced aside in the name of nationalism. During the next two years, immersed in a regimented and masculine environment, she or he will be transformed from a girl or boy to a woman or man, respectively, within the framework of an army that is engaged in daily war and conflict. She or he is now a soldier serving her or his country, in a military camp amidst hundreds like her or him, yet beneath the uniform there is someone wishing to be noticed, listened to, and understood.

I know she’s focusing only the women for her piece, and that’s fine, but her original wording makes it seem like it’s completely unfair to the women of Israel.  If that’s your argument, then it’s also unfair to the men of Israel and that should be noted.

– Want to create your own, personalized font? Grab a Pilot pen, a template, some software, and get to work:  (Core77)

– Parasailing donkey: Watch when the donkey gets yanked up into the air, it’s quite funny and you can just imagine how flipped out that donkey must have been:  (With Leather)

– Pornstar nerd: Her name is Jelena Jenson and not only does she take cock with the best of them, she also codes websites with the nerdiest of them.  If I ever hire someone to do web design, how could I not hire a pornstar?  Only makes sense. (Also, Editor Toni should be worried, as soon as I find a pornstar with a literary degree, Toni might get bounced.)  (Gizmodo)

– Ladies: Do you sugar your vagina?  (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

– When Containers and Packaging doesn’t suck: Wooten, fully awake for his job, found that one of the companies they follow make the “metered dose valve” for a cannabis spray-delivery developed by GWPharma.  (Wooten)

– The Marks’ Financial Update:

• MAB – A bit of a down period here for the Bunkman, dropping to $14.83 from $15.27.  The best news, even better than his ass coming back to NYC/C-Town for another weekend, is that Bunk pays a dividend.  Buy a share and Bunk will kick you 0.47% of the stock back to you.  He paid out $0.07 on July 21st. 
  
• MDH – Harter was looking at a down period until he keeps “doing what he doing” (thanks Floyd Mayweather, Sr.) and bounced back on the later part of this week.  He had touched $2.16, then three straight days and my man finishes at $2.49.  Investors are excited for the opportunities at his “company thing at the Yankee game” Friday night.
• MFL – Dude, seriously?  You’re gonna open at $14.21 on July 12th and close at $14.21 on July 23rd?  This isn’t the first time you pulled this flat shit, and quite frankly, I don’t know how to take this.  My boy all grown up and stable?  Look, when the you have the press conference to announce the move of CHUCKYSCHILD (that’s how you have it, that’s how I write it) headquarters out to Jets’ territory, at least let me get the exclusive?  We can so do a “The Decision”.  I can easily be a bigger douche than Jim Gray.

– RIP Tuli Kupferberg: You can read his real obit here, but this week I came to the realization that the only reason I am alive is because of a song entitled “Boobs a Lot.”  You see, my dad met his best friend at college on the first day of school because Fred (the friend) was blasting that song out of his dorm window.  My dad, who already knew the song, heard it being played and said “I gotta go meet that guy.”  Fred eventually introduced Alan to Penny, and ___ years later (you’re welcome, mom) here I am.  And here’s the song:

If you don’t want to blast it at work, here are the lyrics:

Do you like boobs a lot?
(Yes I like boobs a lot)
Why do you like boobs a lot?
(Gotta like boobs a lot)

Do you like boobs a lot?
(Yes I like boobs a lot)
Why do you like boobs a lot?
(Gotta like boobs a lot)

(Note: I typed the above portion earlier in the week, by the time the real obit was printed in the NY Times they had removed the mention of the album “Boobs a Lot.”  Luckily, it still exists on the web version.)

– Curren$y: Pilot Talk: I’m completely feeling the song “Breakfast” (produced by Mos Def, though the album version sounds better than the YouTube one), and “Audio Dope II“.  Also, Jay Electronica makes an appearance on “The Day” and Snoop Dogg is featured on “Seat Change.”  Worth the $10.

– Dying planet: They found a planet with a tail like a comet, which is pretty fucking rare (that’s the scientific term).  The planet is basically being blasted away by its own sun.  Scientists estimate that the planet only has ONE TRILLION years left to live.  As my dad says, “oh, phew, I thought you said one billion.”  (New Scientist)

– Brazilian Chicks: It’s not that I have an infatuation with Brazilian chicks, it’s just that Fuck Yeah Brazilian Girls is the perfect site in Google Reader.  Meet Monica Frutuoso:  (Fuck Yeah Brazilian Girls)

– Bukkake Bokeh Photos: According to Hongkiat, “The word ‘bokeh’ derives from the Japanese for ‘blur’ or ‘haze’, and in photography describes the effect found in out-of-focus regions of images.”  Here’s an example (more in the link): (Hongkiat)

– Rice paddies, again: I thought the Telegraph had some good shots, but then Pink Tentacle released this article.  Here’s another one:  (Pink Tentacle)

– Belly button: Your athletic prowess is dependent upon the height of your belly button.  West-Africans typically have longer legs, which puts their belly button higher than their European counterparts, and therefore are better suited for track sports.  Yes scientist have found to way to say “black people run faster than white people,” without being racist.  (Discovery)

– Fiber optic knife: The knife is fashioned out of the same shit that makes your internet fast.  Doesn’t look like it’ll cut anything though, right?  (Gizmodo)

(And right now everyone that’s played Elder Scrolls is like, “wait, I’ve seen that before…“)

– Ophidian Wars: Opac’s Journey: If you have an Xbox, for $1 you can help a friend of a friend.  You can find the game in the Xbox Live Game Marketplace under Indie Games.  The developers (a whole two of them) have a blog where you can read about the process and a contest to win Microsoft points here.

– Double Sun Power: Everyone loves the Old Spice “man your man could smell like”, but I’m liking the Odor Blocker.  Old Spice has a YouTube channel for all of these commercials.  Here’s the Double Sun Power one:

– How Blake’s mind works: Cumming shared this article about how a giant “methane fart” in the Gulf will wipe out every life form.  The quotes are over the top, which made me think of the South Park episode “Imaginationland” where the military brings in directors to think of ideas to stop the terrorists.  The experts in Cumming’s article remind me of Michael Bay’s part.  As an added bonus, with all of Mel Gibson’s crazy shit going on right meow, there’s the ending quote of “say what you want about Mel Gibson, but the son of a bitch knows story structure.”

– Mirrored treehouse: Apparently mirrors and trees are in right now with the “Unlimited Urban Woods” in the Netherlands and then this mirrored treehouse:  (Urban, core77; treehouse, Gizmodo)

– Twitter Update: I know, it’s been awhile, but Blake had up to 43 followers and is now down to 39.  It’s not my fault all the spammers keep getting deleted.

– Tweet of the week: MoMo Jones (kingmomo10) is a basketball player for Zona, he happens to hail from Harlem.  I’m posting this tweet because if you know me, then you’ll know I love that he used the wrong “their” and that he uses Trick Daddy’s line of “love the kids.”  Here’s MoMo:

At the Boys and Girls Club Dinner. Supporting the kids and there achievements. Got to love the kids and everyone who supports us in tucson!

– Album art: Wired did a run down of their favorite album art of all time (props to GZA), then did an addition of reader’s choices.  (Wired)

– Pizza in a cone: On my walk home from work I pass by a shop called “K! pizzacone”, which is pizza… in a cone.  You can go to their website here, but none of the links actually work so you can’t read “about” or see the menu.  Shit you can’t even contact them.  According to most reviews on Yelp! though, this place is not worth your money.  I just figured you should know that someone decided to put pizza in a cone.

(WARNING: No naked chicks below.)

– Keep your family’s corpses: Just build a crypt.  Well, that’s what they told 91-year-old Jean Stevens from Wyalusing, PA.  She had dug her husband’s body up in 1999 and had been keeping him on a couch in the garage.  The one thing that is most confusing to me (obviously besides the living with corpses thing) is this line: “the corpses of her husband and twin sister” coupled with this line: “[a]uthorities found the body of James Stevens on a couch in the detached garage and the body of June Stevens on a couch in a spare room off the bedroom.”  If Jean and June are twin sisters, and Jean is married to James Stevens, then why do Jean and June still have the same last name?  (BreakingNews Twitter feed)

– Shoes for shorties: If you feel the need for elevator shoes, here you go.  (Core77)

– Shoes for lazies: Motorized shoes.  Will this be the new mode of transportation?  I’m going to say no.  Just because.  (Core77)

– TV: Not feeling Louie (FX), but agree with Mark Lee that The Real L Word (Showtime) is addictive.  Plus, there’s some waste of talent on the Real L Word, just saying.  Oh, and titties (the waste of talent is the one showing her titties in that clip).

– Underwater creatures: They discovered 10 new species along the Mid-Atlantic Range.  Papa Blake thinks half of them “look like prehistoric dicks.”  I think he means like this one:  (Wired)

– Black hole on Earth: It’s not a hole, it’s the Moon’s shadow.  Here are about 10 more shots of a Solar Eclipse from space.  (Gizmodo)

– Speaking of space: Here’s the most recent microwave map of the entire sky:  (Wired)

– FDA approves cyborgs: Or at least miniature telescopes that can be implanted into your aging eye.  (PopSci)

– France Face/Off: Doctors in France recently completed a full face transplant, including eyelids.  (Yahoo!)

– White Castle may stop giving insurance to employees: Apparently they’ve been doing it since 1924, but after 2014 they may have to end it due to the reform to health care insurance.  Here’s a fun read on the topic where the Government and Unions say White Castle, IHOP, The National Retail Federation, and others are blowing it out of proportion.  White Castle (the burger joint, not a sarcastic rip on the current administration) claims that their younger and healthier employees would most likely opt for the federal program, meaning that older and unhealthier employees would remain on White Castle’s plan and drive up the cost for everyone else.  Aren’t you glad we passed this bill so we could see what’s in it?  (Cumming)

– 100 insults in movies: I like that In Bruges is on here a couple of times (“you’re an inanimate fucking object!”).  All in all a good compilation.  (The World’s Best Ever)

– “Tired Gay succumbs to Dix”: Ah, headlines.  (Uni Watch)

– Rice paddy: Asians go buckwild on their rice paddies, while Americans/Europeans do crop circles:  (Telegraph)

– The Marks’ Financial Update:

• MFL – Mark dropped seven cents after he stood me up at the bowling alley, but once investors realized him standing me up was already baked into the stock he rose to close out this week at $14.20 (up from $13.87).  He was the only Mark to be flat on the day of the LeBacle, which should have been the major sign that LePussy wasn’t going to the Nets.  (That and the signing of Travis Outlaw, because clearly those two superstars couldn’t coexist.)
• MDH – Harter stayed flat on the 28th and 29th of June, holding steady at $1.75 only to shoot up to $1.95 in a day, then from there to $2.44 on the 8th of July (again, the LeBacle).  Investors came into work on Friday depressed and with the realization that Harter doesn’t really care much for the NBA, sending him down to $2.19.  It could have been worse, but once again Harter Knock Life gets a top four pick in the Moonti Draft.
• MAB – Bunk had a nice rise while staying in NYC this week, moving from $14.92 on July 2nd up to $15.44 on the 8th.  Then he got a shitty draft position in the Moonti Lottery so investors trimmed him down to $15.37 to end the week.  Also, not having the courtesy to flush before leaving someone’s apartment didn’t help.

– Notes on the site: Added two new additions to Read, and I think both are worth reading.