(WARNING: No naked chicks below.)
– The Roots: How I Got Over. Come on, you think I wouldn’t love this album? If I can’t get you to enjoy one of these songs: “How I Got Over“, “Right On“, “The Day“, “Doin’ It Again“, or “Hustla“, then you just don’t like music. The only song I skip is “Dear God 2.0“. For those that know me, this is my new Jay-Z/Alicia Keys “NY State of Mind” song. For those that don’t know me; that’s not a good thing. The lead singer from My Morning Jacket and Monsters of Folk sings this too-high pitch/whiny chorus (Thom Yorke owns this type of singing, I can’t stand anyone else that tries). The song is just too serious for me. Anyway, the album is legit and is an actual album. You know, where songs bleed together and are arranged in a way that makes sense, almost like a concert (example: the two John Legend songs are back-to-back). Worth the pick up.
– Otis, my man! Otis Mathis, the president of the Detroit school board, was caught strokin’ in a meeting. It is alleged that Mathis “unzipped his pants and pulled a handkerchief from his left pocket, put the handkerchief in his right hand and put his right hand in his unzipped pants again … moving his hand as if to be masturbating in front of me.” My favorite line, besides that previous one where a 55-year-old school board president would masturbate in a meeting, was Reverend David Murray’s quote: “He’s a young man; maybe he didn’t know it was offensive to her,” Murray said of the 55-year-old Mathis. “It’s not something I would do. He’s a young man. That’s just the way it is.” Since when is 55 “young”? And “he didn’t know” that pulling on his dick in a meeting might be offensive to someone? “That’s just the way it is.” (Dad)
– But wait, there’s more: In case you are unfamiliar with the antics of Mathis, here’s an article on the emails he would send that made no sense. Remember, he was president of a school board. Here’s a clip from an email: “If you saw Sunday’s Free Press that shown Robert Bobb the emergency financial manager for Detroit Public Schools, move Mark Twain to Boynton which have three times the number seats then students and was one of the reason’s he gave for closing school to many empty seats.” Reads like he was typing one handed, no?
– 25,000 barrels: This video simulating what 25,000 barrels stacked up would look like was getting passed around this week, with many sites claiming it was a statement about the spill. Not entirely. This is how gamers show off game engines. Look at this one from 2007. Here’s 3,000 exploding barrels. Here’s more explosions. Anyway, this was all just an excuse for me to post the SNL “Colon Blow” commercial.
– Colorado just moved up a notch on Blake’s ladder of respect: If you’re out there on July 17th, go to the Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms Sporting Clay Shoot at the Kiowa Creek Sporting Club in Bennett. It’s not sponsored by the ATF, oh no, the point is to go drink, smoke, and shoot guns. (Reason)
– Fishy pedicure: Come on, let the fish eat your feet: (Fast Company)
– Why is the sky blue? Here’s the actual answer. (It’s how the light gets “scattered” in our atmosphere) (Gizmodo)
– More species of yeast to be found (not involving Lohan’s vag): Right now there are 1,000 species of yeast and scientists think they’ll find 10,000 in the “near future”. Can NJ Beer make an ale with all 10,000 species? Get on that. (Discovery)
– Aurorae are dope: I can totally see why our ancestors were scared of/worshiped these things: (PopSci)
– iPhone: Here’s a rundown of the new operating system (for those keeping your old one, did you plug your iPhone into your computer this week? You should.). Here’s why you can’t hold your new iPhone 4G in your left hand (don’t be concerned for me: I am not getting the new one, yet, and typically hold my phone in my right hand). Fast Company has a rundown of reviews for the iPhone 4 here.
– For the ladies: Looks like the female version of Viagra is “lacking”, but don’t worry old ladies, they are working on pills that’ll match your horniness with grandpa’s. If you live in a constant fear of being raped (namely, you live in Africa), then perhaps you should use these female condoms that have teeth. When a man sticks their penis in you the condom attaches to their dick. And stays there. Just please remember to take it out if you find a guy that you actually like and, you know, who isn’t trying to rape you. Also ladies, your bodies are pretty good at rejecting weak sperm, however, you become more receptive after “receiving” the sperm for 3 months. Fine, here, go look at a “showcase of beautiful fashion illustrations.” (Don’t ever say I don’t write for women.)
– Herm update: Herm Edwards will NOT be joining the defense-only fantasy football league. Coach Edwards made this announcement on Twitter on Friday:
HermEdwardsESPN: No thank you.RT @jblake33: @HermEdwardsESPN what are the chances you’ll join our fantasy league where we only pick defensive players?
– World Cup: My “editor” (yeah, edit that, Toni) wanted some commentary on the futbol pitches that are going on. So you get this: If you’re a Dutch fan, you might want to invest in these flip shirts: (Uni Watch)
– Landmarks: Hongkiat has pictures of “45 Awe-Inspring Landmarks Around The World.” Some would make for good wallpaper on your monitor: (Hongkiat)
– Al Gore really wants to play you a song: So Mr. Roboto is accused of sexually assaulting a masseuse in Oregon in 2006. The statement by the masseuse is lengthy, at times hilarious, and worth the time. As The Smoking Gun points out, she describes Gore as a “crazed sex poodle.” (The Smoking Gun)
– The Best Party: Icelandic comedian Jon Gnarr (major points for spelling Jon correctly) formed a political party and won the election for mayor in Reykjavik. Members of his coalition had to have seen all five seasons of “The Wire”. It was a joke that actually got serious, I guess. Here’s his video set to Tina Turner’s “The Best” that explains his party. And here’s the NY Times article explaining it all. (Kornfeld via Wooten)
– The Marks’ Financial Update:
- MDH – Harter had a great start to this time period on June 14th by going up $0.30 to $2.89 that day, but then it was a slow beat down the next two weeks to close him out at $2.04. I think as the week wore on investors caught on to his “no, it’s cool, I’ll go to a bar to watch the US pitch at 2, then totally be able to go to a bbq in Rochelle Park that same night.” Must have been an exciting Saturday night for Harter.
- MAB – Bunk was quiet until June 22nd when he also moved up $0.30 to $14.67, but unlike Harter he was able to build on this and close at $14.88. He’s now back where he was on June 4th. In fact, ever since he told Harter and I that he’d be visiting in July, his stock has done nothing but go up. (I’m not saying, but I’m saying, Bunk.)
- MFL – Hey I know, maybe I’ll tell Mark Lee that I’m totally going to write his financial update then just not. You know, like how he stood me up on bowling night? For a WEEK he told me he was pumped to go bowling. And what happens Friday night? Blake’s at the bowling alley by himself telling the manager “no, no he’ll be here soon” when asked if I was going to be bowling by myself all night. Anyway, he was flat for the two weeks: opened at $13.87, closed at $13.87. Stuff happened between that, but my heart is too broken to care.