Monthly Archives: June 2010

Weekly Update.

(WARNING: No naked chicks below.)

– The Roots: How I Got Over. Come on, you think I wouldn’t love this album?  If I can’t get you to enjoy one of these songs: “How I Got Over“, “Right On“, “The Day“, “Doin’ It Again“, or “Hustla“, then you just don’t like music.  The only song I skip is “Dear God 2.0“.  For those that know me, this is my new Jay-Z/Alicia Keys “NY State of Mind” song.  For those that don’t know me; that’s not a good thing.  The lead singer from My Morning Jacket and Monsters of Folk sings this too-high pitch/whiny chorus (Thom Yorke owns this type of singing, I can’t stand anyone else that tries).  The song is just too serious for me.  Anyway, the album is legit and is an actual album.  You know, where songs bleed together and are arranged in a way that makes sense, almost like a concert (example: the two John Legend songs are back-to-back).  Worth the pick up.

– Otis, my man! Otis Mathis, the president of the Detroit school board, was caught strokin’ in a meeting.  It is alleged that Mathis “unzipped his pants and pulled a handkerchief from his left pocket, put the handkerchief in his right hand and put his right hand in his unzipped pants again … moving his hand as if to be masturbating in front of me.”  My favorite line, besides that previous one where a 55-year-old school board president would masturbate in a meeting, was Reverend David Murray’s quote: “He’s a young man; maybe he didn’t know it was offensive to her,” Murray said of the 55-year-old Mathis. “It’s not something I would do. He’s a young man. That’s just the way it is.”  Since when is 55 “young”?  And “he didn’t know” that pulling on his dick in a meeting might be offensive to someone?  “That’s just the way it is.”  (Dad)

– But wait, there’s more: In case you are unfamiliar with the antics of Mathis, here’s an article on the emails he would send that made no sense.  Remember, he was president of a school board.  Here’s a clip from an email: “If you saw Sunday’s Free Press that shown Robert Bobb the emergency financial manager for Detroit Public Schools, move Mark Twain to Boynton which have three times the number seats then students and was one of the reason’s he gave for closing school to many empty seats.”  Reads like he was typing one handed, no?

– 25,000 barrels: This video simulating what 25,000 barrels stacked up would look like was getting passed around this week, with many sites claiming it was a statement about the spill.  Not entirely.  This is how gamers show off game engines.  Look at this one from 2007Here’s 3,000 exploding barrelsHere’s more explosions.  Anyway, this was all just an excuse for me to post the SNL “Colon Blow” commercial.

– Colorado just moved up a notch on Blake’s ladder of respect: If you’re out there on July 17th, go to the Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms Sporting Clay Shoot at the Kiowa Creek Sporting Club in Bennett.  It’s not sponsored by the ATF, oh no, the point is to go drink, smoke, and shoot guns.  (Reason)

– Fishy pedicure: Come on, let the fish eat your feet:  (Fast Company)

– Why is the sky blue? Here’s the actual answer.  (It’s how the light gets “scattered” in our atmosphere)  (Gizmodo)

– More species of yeast to be found (not involving Lohan’s vag): Right now there are 1,000 species of yeast and scientists think they’ll find 10,000 in the “near future”.  Can NJ Beer make an ale with all 10,000 species?  Get on that.  (Discovery)

– Aurorae are dope: I can totally see why our ancestors were scared of/worshiped these things:  (PopSci)

– iPhone: Here’s a rundown of the new operating system (for those keeping your old one, did you plug your iPhone into your computer this week?  You should.).  Here’s why you can’t hold your new iPhone 4G in your left hand (don’t be concerned for me: I am not getting the new one, yet, and typically hold my phone in my right hand).  Fast Company has a rundown of reviews for the iPhone 4 here.

– For the ladies: Looks like the female version of Viagra is “lacking”, but don’t worry old ladies, they are working on pills that’ll match your horniness with grandpa’s.  If you live in a constant fear of being raped (namely, you live in Africa), then perhaps you should use these female condoms that have teeth.  When a man sticks their penis in you the condom attaches to their dick.  And stays there.  Just please remember to take it out if you find a guy that you actually like and, you know, who isn’t trying to rape you.  Also ladies, your bodies are pretty good at rejecting weak sperm, however, you become more receptive after “receiving” the sperm for 3 months.  Fine, here, go look at a “showcase of beautiful fashion illustrations.”  (Don’t ever say I don’t write for women.)

– Herm update: Herm Edwards will NOT be joining the defense-only fantasy football league.  Coach Edwards made this announcement on Twitter on Friday:

HermEdwardsESPN: No thank you.RT @jblake33: @HermEdwardsESPN what are the chances you’ll join our fantasy league where we only pick defensive players?

– World Cup: My “editor” (yeah, edit that, Toni) wanted some commentary on the futbol pitches that are going on.  So you get this:  If you’re a Dutch fan, you might want to invest in these flip shirts:  (Uni Watch)

– Landmarks: Hongkiat has pictures of “45 Awe-Inspring Landmarks Around The World.”  Some would make for good wallpaper on your monitor:  (Hongkiat)

– Al Gore really wants to play you a song: So Mr. Roboto is accused of sexually assaulting a masseuse in Oregon in 2006.  The statement by the masseuse is lengthy, at times hilarious, and worth the time.  As The Smoking Gun points out, she describes Gore as a “crazed sex poodle.”  (The Smoking Gun)

– The Best Party: Icelandic comedian Jon Gnarr (major points for spelling Jon correctly) formed a political party and won the election for mayor in Reykjavik.  Members of his coalition had to have seen all five seasons of “The Wire”.  It was a joke that actually got serious, I guess.  Here’s his video set to Tina Turner’s “The Best” that explains his party.  And here’s the NY Times article explaining it all.  (Kornfeld via Wooten)

– The Marks’ Financial Update:

  • MDH – Harter had a great start to this time period on June 14th by going up $0.30 to $2.89 that day, but then it was a slow beat down the next two weeks to close him out at $2.04.  I think as the week wore on investors caught on to his “no, it’s cool, I’ll go to a bar to watch the US pitch at 2, then totally be able to go to a bbq in Rochelle Park that same night.”  Must have been an exciting Saturday night for Harter.
  • MAB – Bunk was quiet until June 22nd when he also moved up $0.30 to $14.67, but unlike Harter he was able to build on this and close at $14.88.  He’s now back where he was on June 4th.  In fact, ever since he told Harter and I that he’d be visiting in July, his stock has done nothing but go up.  (I’m not saying, but I’m saying, Bunk.)
  • MFL – Hey I know, maybe I’ll tell Mark Lee that I’m totally going to write his financial update then just not.  You know, like how he stood me up on bowling night?  For a WEEK he told me he was pumped to go bowling.  And what happens Friday night?  Blake’s at the bowling alley by himself telling the manager “no, no he’ll be here soon” when asked if I was going to be bowling by myself all night.  Anyway, he was flat for the two weeks: opened at $13.87, closed at $13.87.  Stuff happened between that, but my heart is too broken to care.

Advertisements

3 Comments

Filed under Weekly Update

Weekly Update.

(WARNING: No naked chicks below.)

– Happy Father’s Day to all Fathers: They deserve more than the big piece of chicken.  So thanks, Dad, because it sure is easy to read with all this light.

– Boxing: Andre Ward looked solid against a depleted and tired Allan Green, who admitted that three training camps this year plus slimming down to 166 instead of 168 made him weak.  Ward won 120-108 (12 rounds to zip) to advance to the semifinals of the Super Six Boxing Classic.

– The Roots is coming, the Roots is coming, the Roots is coming…: Tuesday, June 22nd, the Roots drop their newest album.  It’s called “How I Got Over” and a bunch of tracks are already available.  Hypetrak has “The Day”, “Web 20/20”, “Now or Never”, “Doing It Again”, “The Fire”, and “Dear God 2.0” on their website.  I listened to “Dear God 2.0” and “Doing It Again” before stopping.  I’ll wait until Tuesday for the rest.

– You got stubby fingers: At least according to your brain.  Participants pointed to the tips and sides of their hands, which were hidden under a board.  “On average, volunteers estimated that their hands were two-thirds wider than in reality, and their fingers a third shorter.”  (New Scientist)

– Favela: The only reason I even know the word “favela” is because of Call of Duty and the fact that I shot the shit out shit on that stage.  Instead of painting the place a deep red, like I did, Jeroen Koolhaas and Dre Urhahn went all pastel on that bitch:  (unurth)

– Your phone has more germs than your toilet seat: Well what else do you expect if you’re gonna take a piss and tweet at the same time?  Anyway, this company wants to sell you a cellphone sanitizer for $50.  (Gearlog)

– Art with staples: Looks like a pencil drawing from afar, but it’s really made of staples.  Go here if you really don’t believe me, you’ll also see art with pushpins and packaging tape.  (Midge’s Mind)

-Birds: Photographer Andrew “Not Bardon” Zuckerman has a new book out entitled Bird. He took a bunch of pictures of birds in front of a white backdrop so the colors would really pop.  And pop they done did.  (New Scientist)

– Graphene: This is considered one of the “stiffest” materials in the world.  (Come on, you didn’t giggle at stiffest?)  It was discovered in 2004 by physicists at The University of Manchester, and it “resembles chicken wire.”  Yup.  They’re going to start making aircraft out of material one atom thick, that also resembles chicken wire.  I know they mean at like a molecular level, but try selling that to a pilot.  (Institute of Nanotechnology)

– What would you do? If your arm was stuck and you were by yourself with no chance of getting to a phone, would you cut your arm off?  How long would you go before cutting?  This guy went 12 hours, and doctors claimed it saved his life.  (Wooten)

– Twitter Update: Blake has 40 followers (up from 39).  I keep trying to get Herm Edwards to respond to me, and I won’t stop now.  He keeps getting asked if he will join fantasy football leagues and he responds “do you play defense?”  So Money, Demner, here’s hoping we have a new addition in the All Defense League this season.

– Tweet of the week: In honor of Father’s Day, here’s Jim Gaffigan (JimGaffigan):

“My 4 yr old son gave me a hand made card for Father’s Day. Maybe for Christmas I’ll draw him a picture of some toys.”

– Manpurse for your axe: Ces sent this on via an email with the subject line “unreal”, and I admit it looks sweet: (Ces)

But Ces got pissed because I responded with “a manpurse for an ax?”  Which led to this:

Ces: asshole.
Me: it looks like a purse, for a man, for his ax. Not trying to be a dick
Ces: would you call the same thing for a gun a purse?
Me: if that’s how it looked, yes

Just showing I don’t discriminate on manpurses.

– 9 milli headphones: Who doesn’t want earbuds made from bullets and kevlar?  (The World’s Best Ever)

– Eliminate the sound of vuvuzelas: If you have a good equalizer, remove/reduce 233 Hz, 466 Hz, 932 Hz, and 1864 Hz.  Your TV most likely has 300 Hz option, so reduce that one.  There’s also some DIY stuff to block the sound out, if those horns piss you off.  I zeroed the 300 Hz and 100 Hz on my Samsung and it was less annoying, but doubt you’ll get the sound completely out.  (Fast Company)

– Create your own Heineken bottle: What, green glass isn’t good enough for you?  You’re gonna select the “Party” design, I just know it.  (Gizmodo)

– A-di-os, A-mi-go, which means I got to g-o: Just wanted to end this coming back to The Roots.  Their first album, Organix, came out in 1993.  Radiohead, 311, Onyx, Ace of Base, The Cranberries, Snow, Toby Keith, Shania Twain, Rancid, Jamiroquai, Collective Soul, Akinyele, Björk, Fat Joe, Sheryl Crow, Counting Crows, Faith Hill, Black Moon, Wu-Tang Clan, Snoop Doggy Dogg, Beck, Lords of the Underground, and others I’m sure I’m missing, all had debut albums in 1993.  That’s an impressive list and shows you how good The Roots really are to last this long, to still sound good, and to have a discography that puts most of these artists to shame.  I’m mean, beside Radiohead, who has been as consistent with their music?  And the only one coming close to them live is Radiohead.  So yeah, please buy How I Got Over and support good music.  And let’s leave with another quote from Organix:

“Does anybody like good music?  Sweet music, soul music?  You know The Roots is a group that’ll choose it, just to use it, to make you move it.”

4 Comments

Filed under Weekly Update

Weekly Update.

– Wooden: Lived for 99 years, which is a multiple of “33” so Bunk paid homage to him in the banner.

– Boxing: Andre Ward fights Allan Green this coming Saturday at 10 PM in the Super Six World Boxing Classic.  Green replaced Jermain Taylor (because of this) and Ward is now the favorite to win the tournament, which is still in the round robin section. (Showtime)

– iPhone 4: You can go here if you want to know about performance, battery life, etcOr you can go here and find out what the changes mean to your porn viewing.  The big speculation is that FaceTime will replace sexting.  (Spec: Engadget; Sex: Gizmodo)

– Children of lesbian parents are better than you: According to “results from the longest-running study of same-sex families,” children of lesbian parents performed better than their peers in social and academic tests.  Probably because the kids get nagged twice as much.  (New Scientist)

– Beer for your dog: Sold on Amazon.  Don’t worry, it doesn’t have real alcohol, but it is the only “beer” sold on Amazon.  (Yes, I was trying to see how much of a shut-in I could really be by searching for beer on Amazon.):

– Solar panels attract/kill insects: Because certain aquatic insects see polarized light as water, they fly towards solar panels expecting some food or a good breeding ground.  According to Bruce Robertson, it would be like “going to the most amazing 3D movie you’ve ever seen and you can’t leave. [The insects] just fly and fly and fly over these surfaces, and they get exhausted and die.”  So to recap: solar panels kill insects, wind farms kill birds (so let’s go above their flight path), and nuclear power is only a problem if you happen to be living in the 70s or communist Russia.  (Discovery)

– Citizens United vs FEC: Do you remember this Supreme Court case that was decided in January?  It was supposed to open up the floodgates to corporations airing explicit commercials for you to vote for so-and-so or whatever.  So what’s happened?  Good ol’ unions are the only entity that seems to be taking advantage of this ruling.  The AFL-CIO thinks this is fine and dandy since they are different from corporations.  Spokeswoman for the ALF-CIO, Amaya Tune, claims that unions “actually represent members who pay their dues, representing working people.”  You know, because clearly corporations aren’t a collection of working people… wait a minute…  (Reason)

– How to photograph waves: Gizmodo asks the pro who took this shot:  (Gizmodo)

– Liberals don’t know their economics: A recent study looked at a survey from 2008 that asked eight “basic” economic questions.  Those who identified themselves as “progressive” got an average of 5.26 questions wrong (the best group was the “very conservative” group who got only 1.3 wrong).  Yeesh.  I can’t really blame liberals for not understanding simple economics (most didn’t study it) nor am I going to praise the conservatives here who probably guessed the right answers.   My main problem is that 30.8% of those that self-identified as very liberal got the definition of a monopoly wrong.  (It is not: “the company with the largest market share is a monopoly.”)  The other question that no sane person should get wrong was “the standard of living is higher today than it was 30 years ago.”  61% of those self-identified as progressive think our standard of living is worse. (Really?  You’d rather live in 1980 than 2010?)  This site holds the full study, which I guarantee will answer any arguments you may have against it.

– Wondering what’s up with Jamiroquai? Me neither.  But he’s in Japan doing Cup of Noodles commercials:  (Boing Boing)

– Most badass national anthem: One thing I noticed during the US v England match on Saturday was that our anthem is pretty badass, especially in comparison to England’s.  All they do is praise a monarch while we talk about getting bombed and still having our flag, our symbol, stand true.  And oh yeah, in case you forgot, we’re a free country and aren’t scared of shit.  Bunk agrees, but wants to know about other badass anthems, which led me to start a post, which in turn led me over to Cracked.com’s article from 2008 of basically the same thing.  They gave it to Vietnam due in part to the line “the path to glory is built by the bodies of our foes.”  Anybody else got a badass national anthem we should know about?

– Crocodiles know how to surf: Or at least ride ocean currents.  (Discovery)

– Glad I don’t live in Saudi Arabia: They’ve issued a new fatwa that requires men to suckle milk from a woman’s breast in order to get to know them.  The fatwa applies “to men who live in the same house or come into contact with women on a regular basis.”  (Boing Boing)

– Download your brain so you don’t die: This should be a known concept to anyone remotely familiar with science fiction, but “several” companies are developing ways to store your personality and memories.  From the article: “If you can upload yourself into this digital form, it could live forever,” says Nick Mayer of Lifenaut, a US company that is exploring ways to build lifelike avatars. “It really is a way of avoiding death.”  (New Scientist)

– I’ve found my Obama: His name is Mitch Daniels, Governor of Indiana.  So many good things in this long ass article about how he created a budget surplus and kept Indiana out of the recession, but here are the highlights (which are long as hell, too): A – he had pennies placed on the tires of government vehicles and had cops go back one month later.  If the pennies were still there, they took the keys.  B – he sold one of the main highways in Indiana for $3.9 billion, and that money sits outside of the budget and can only be used to fix other roads.  C – he lashed out at schools in his state that were building the most expensive schools per square foot.  D – due to his budgeting, one district fired 9 teachers and one administrator.  When asked what he would say to those people fired, he responded “I’d say it should have been nine administrators and one teacher. There are 20 things that school board could do before it had to lay off one teacher.” E – when he proposed ending social promotion (moving a kid on to the next grade because he’s old) a reporter asked where the money would come from to pay for the program.  His response to that was “more than $40,000 to teach someone how to read? No. It won’t and it shouldn’t and any school district that can’t do it ought to face consequences.”  F – he invited a motorcycle gang to a business luncheon.  G – the one knock is that he was head of the budget committee for Dubya and his claim to fame was stating that the Iraq war would cost $60 billion.  His defense on that one was that he was told to budget for 6 months, and that’s how much it would have cost if it only took 6 months.  H – he was busted for marijuana possession when he was in college at Princeton.  There’s plenty more in there and worth a read if you’re sick of a man with no prior leadership spewing out empty rhetoric in a nice sounding voice.  Daniels is “leaving the door open” to a run in 2012, so we’ll see.

– Fuck yeah: It’s been too long since we featured a naked chick, so here:  (Fuck Yeah Brazilian Girls)

– Bros burritoing bros: Sounds waaaaaay better than the lame-ass “bros icing bros” that Ces wanted me to jump on 4 weeks ago (so points for being first Ces, but it’s still fucking retarded and unfunny).  (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

– Bees?? They found evidence of beehives in Israel that date as far back as 3,000 years ago.  Scholars have thought the Biblical phrase “the land of milk and honey” wasn’t literal… until now.  (Wired)

– The Marks Financial Update:

  • MAB – Bunk had a nice rise up to last weekend, but must have woken up hungover on Monday with a decrease from $14.90 to $14.48 (hey, 3% is a big move for this guy).  It was then a slow crawl up through the week to close out at $14.57 (down from $14.64 two weeks ago).
  • MDH – I think Harter was seriously trying to build a ramp these past two weeks.  He went sloping down from $3.10 to $2.23 over seven trading days, then bent right up to $2.68 in just two.  I had to do a screen grab to ensure you could see it:

It’s like he’s sick of me calling him a roller coaster and was just like “fuck you, Blake, how’s this look?”

  • MFL – Mark woke up around June 3rd and took off from $13.69 to $13.96 over 4 days.  He was once again the best performing Mark, but he still can’t convince Sharon to dress like Rihanna (I think she was another small shot of Jack away, personally).  I’m just excited to be using Muralo paint, eventually at least.

– Notes on the site: Read and Links have new additions, if those are sections you care about.

Leave a comment

Filed under Weekly Update