Weekly Update.

(WARNING: No naked chicks below)

– Boxing: Amir Khan abused Paulie Malignaggi on Saturday night (11th round TKO) and Victor Ortiz looked surprisingly good against Nate Campbell (unanimous decision).

• May 22nd Rafael Marquez takes on Israel Vazquez for the fourth time. Their trilogy is said to be Ward/Gatti with more skill. Vazquez suffered a detached retina in his split decision victory in the third fight.
• June 5th is Yuri Foreman v. Miguel Cotto at Yankee Stadium.

– 17-year-old baby: 16 pounds, 31 inches long, seventeen years old. Scientists are looking into the anti-aging so you can combat wrinkles. Because you probably don’t believe me, here’s a Bing image search of her. (Discovery)

– Chicks are so manipulative: Want to take more risks in life? Have a woman pat you on the back of your shoulder. Since your ma dukes was there with you when you took your first step, usually prodding you along with a touch to the back, you now equate a woman’s touch to comfort. (Discovery)

– See-through cement: It would make the Griffiths proud: (That’s not a Family Guy reference, it’s a family reference, guy.) (Core77)

– The can-cup: For the World Cup in South Africa, SABMiller will be introducing a can that turns into a cup. The top pops all the way off and then you are free to roam to other bars and have them fill you up. (Wooten, kinda)

– Cheaper Cali Cannabis: Due to increase in competition, pot prices are down to “much less than $2,000 a pound.” (Carpe Diem)

– Octopus v. Shark: I was surprised by the outcome, which shows up at around 1:40: (Boing Boing)

– Turn your juice into booze: 64 oz of juices, $10, and two days is all you need. And no, we totally won’t judge you for turning your Ocean Spray into booze. (Gizmodo)

– Roa in BK: This street artist has a show in Brooklyn until May 30th: (The World’s Best Ever)

– Inhalable anesthesia at the dentist: So you don’t have to have a needle jammed into your gum. I approve. Now if they can just stop talking to me while they have five instruments jammed into my mouth. (PopSci)

– Mutated insects around nuclear plants/testing grounds: They’re paintings and not pictures, so you won’t get grossed out if you hate bugs. (Wired)

– The illusionators: They announced the top illusions of 2010, which sucks for my planned illusion in August, apparently. Here’s the winner: (New Scientist)

– Water drops: Gizmodo has three pages of water-drop pictures here, here and here. And a sample: (Gizmodo)

– Philly cop shoots himself, blames blacks: Pretty much sums up Philly. (CNN)

– Mythbusters: If your car is in pieces you can use duct tape to hold it together, and it only takes 20 strands of duct tape to wrap a car to a pole (and hold it there). And yes, you can make a duct tape bridge.

– The Marks Financial Update: So I found out last time that each link that I had that was supposed to be a chart of the last two weeks of their stock prices was always defaulting to an intra-day chart. And that sucks.

• MDH – Harter took us on a nice little roller coaster dropping from $3.70 down to $3.26 on May 6th, then a little recovery for a few days to end on a down note at $3.38. No, it’s totally cool to go to New Orleans, see Trombone Shorty, go to the JazzFest, and then not tell Blake about it at all.
• MAB – Something happened to Bunk on Friday, but I haven’t heard any news yet. He was having a down two weeks going from $14.84 to $14.57 and then Friday hit and he closed out at $15.06. Not a bad 3.4% move in one day for the steady Bunk.
• MFL – I was excited to see Mark’s chart this week because I really wanted to know what investors thought about the engagement. I guess that was already baked into his stock as he had a ho-hum two weeks going from $13.73 to $13.74. He did have a dip on May 7th to $13.61, but other than that he was as fun as watching paint dry. Obviously not Muralo paint, which is the best paint to ever watch dry ever. Ever.

– What you missed: Dry your razors after you shave. I just learned about this a few weeks ago and I’ve cut the amount of razors I’m blowing through in half. This is the one and only shaving tip I even know about, heck I couldn’t even tell you if it’s better to go with or against the grain. If you want to save money, and razors, then start drying them when you are done shaving. And you can thank me later.

– What I missed: Max Kellerman has a rap video. It’s as bad as it sounds, though since I’m a Kellerman fan I figured I would have known about this or at least seen it. It’s his brother, Sam, and him and it’s called “Young Man Rumble”. They go by Max & Sam, and Max sounds like Eminem, weirdly. Not to end this update on a downer, but Sam was brutally murdered by a down and out boxer that he was letting stay at his apartment in 2004. (Shout out to Charlie for the rap video, who’s friends call him Jaeger)