Weekly Update.

(Updated 4/11/10 @ 11:35 PM to reflect correct Floyd Mayweather Jr. quote)

– Boxing: Jaron “Lil Pain” Carter lost in his amateur debut Thursday night at BB King’s in the Corporate Challenge.  Jaron’s fast, but like most amateurs he needs to learn to keep his hands up and work the body.  Also losing on Thursday night was Blake’s liver.  (Apologies to Jaron: Blake’s Update is now the second link returned from the Google search of “Jaron Carter boxer”.)

• Andre Berto came out rusty (he hadn’t fought in 314 days) but managed to stop Carlos Quintana in the 8th round on Saturday night.  It was a sloppy fight with a lot of grappling, which I hate seeing.  My dad had the line of the night though as they showed Chris Brown in the crowd and my dad quipped “He must be looking for tips.”
• Floyd Mayweather had the line of the night on 24/7 in response to Shane accusing Floyd of only fighting for the money.  Mayweather said, “You fucking dummy, I’m a prize fighter.  That’s what I’m supposed to fight for, a prize.  Duh.”
• Kelly Pavlik fights Sergio Martinez on April 17th, also on HBO.  Martinez could beat Pavlik, since Pavlik has no d and not much skill.  The undercard of that fight is Lucian Bute vs. Edison Miranda, two guys known for knocking the fuck out of people.
• April 24th is Tomas Adamek vs. Cris “Fat Tits” Arreola (yes I am determined to make this Arreola’s nickname).

– This kid could kick my ass: Mark Lee found this video of a 3 year old boxer, but Harter tried to pass it off as his own find.  After I berated him over gchat, Harter admitted he didn’t find the video and shouldn’t get credit.  Who ya gonna believe?  Harter doesn’t have a blog, come on.  (Mark Lee)

– Hot Yankee fans: Surprisingly sent by Woobag.  Also, Woo-Woo sent along this tidbit from ESPN “When Rivera made his first appearance of the year Tuesday night, the Yankees achieved a unique distinction — 16 straight seasons in which a particular trio of teammates played together. No other team in major league baseball, the NFL, NBA or NHL has done that.”  (Wooten)

– Douche of the week: Thank you, Representative Alan Grayson.  Last week I would have said Hank Johnson for thinking an island could “tip over and capsize”, but you decided to file a complaint against one of your own constituents.  This isn’t the complaint from last December (where he asked US Attorney General Eric Holder to launch an investigation on a woman who created the site “mycongressmanisnuts.com” in parody of Grayson’s “congressmanwithguts.com” because she wasn’t his constituent and therefore shouldn’t use “my”), this one is supposed to be with “all relevant boards or agencies” against the urologist who put up the sign “If you voted for Obama… Seek urologic care elsewhere – Changes to your health care begin right now, not in four years.”  Grayson claims this is racism since “many, many” of the Democrats in the doctor’s area are black.  Never mind that Dr. Jack Cassell has said he won’t turn away patients since even he knows that would be unethical.  Instead of doing his duties as a representative, Grayson is just intimidating Dr. Cassell for expressing an opinion.  This straight jump to blame racism for dissenting opinions is beginning to rile me up (ha, beginning…).  Those claiming that it is indeed racism cite the Tea Party demonstrations in March during the final days of the health care debacle.  Claims of n-bombs and spit and “faggot” being yelled to Barney Frank abound, yet there aren’t any videos supporting this (there supposedly is for the Barney Frank incident, but I could not find it).  There’s this video.  And then a bunch of other “videos” or slide shows from left wingnuts, but no audio of the n-word.  Really?  In 2010 where everyone has a camera phone, where most people have video capabilities, and there were different news organizations present, we have no proof of these claims?  And we’re OK with people like Frank Rich comparing those same demonstrations to Kristallnacht?  That’s rhetoric you will NEVER find on this site (I hope, please call me out for bullshit like that).  (I realize my views on the doctor aren’t clear, so here:  I think he’s a douche for putting up the sign, but I laughed at the sign when I saw the news item and am, clearly, more annoyed at Grayson.)

– Half the story: This past Easter weekend I was home and got to read the New York Times.  Yay.  My dad asked me what I was laughing about.  The first was what I mentioned above (Grayson being an idiot), but there were two more examples of pretty phenomenal journalism:

1. An article on medical implants not being covered by warranties.  You have to go to the bottom of the first page to see this line: “Many implants work well, lasting 15 years or more before they wear out and need replacing.”  And “implant companies and doctors say that such devices primarily fail because of issues unrelated to the product.”  Oh yeah, as Ben pointed out, the article does not mention that your body starts rejecting implants as soon as the doctor puts them in:  “The body’s natural response to foreign material – whether it’s a medical implant or a bullet is to wall it off with scar-like tissue, Ratner explains. Frequently, this reaction disrupts the device’s performance and necessitates further medical intervention.”  Hmm, seems like an extremely good reason not to warrant implants.
2. A heat map of where to best hail taxis.  I’ll save you the trouble and just tell you: The best place to find a taxi in the city IS WHERE IT’S FUCKING BUSY AT THAT TIME.  Morning?  Penn Station.  Midnight?  LES.  Holy shit!

I can’t believe I’m going to quote Alec Baldwin, especially since he said this on Bill Maher’s show, but if you just read and talk with like-minded people, then you are just in a closet and are not helping matters at all.  Maybe I have no problem reading a dissenting opinion because of what my dad said when I went to research a stock I wanted to buy.  He asked me what the analyst with sell ratings were saying and I looked at him confused.  “But I’m trying to buy it.”  “Then you are just going to confirm your thoughts, what if you’re missing something?”  To those who only read the NYTimes or HuffZ (yes, that’s me comparing HuffPost to TMZ) – you are missing a lot right now.  Just try going to RealClearPolitics.com and clicking through the different links they post daily (they post daily, but you don’t have to go there daily).  Thank you.

– You know the deal: Blake riffs on politics, you get to see a naked Brazilian.  Here’s one for each of you:  (Fuck Yeah Brazilian Girls)

– Obama looking at awesome things: Last week (the Wu theme bombed, didn’t it?) I showed you Obama looking at mundane things.  So in fairness, here’s Obama looking at awesome things.  My favorite:  (Geekologie)

– Top 10 hot teachers to get busted in a sex scandal: And, unfortunately, the top 5 ugliest.  (Ross)

– Street art: You could go to Spain to see it in person, or just go here:  (unurth)

– Penny approved bathroom fixtures: My dad will now spend the next week convincing my mom that our bathrooms are all fine and don’t need to be updated… again. (Core77)

– Troll Foot has his own drink: Danny DeVito has his own Limoncello.  Drink up, be merry, it’s a celebration, bitches.  (DeVito’s Twitter)

– Hubble turns 20: In celebration, NASA released a book called Hubble: A Journey Through Space and Time (which Blake just ordered).  (Gizmodo)

– These pixels will kills us all! Dope video that made the rounds this week: (Boing Boing)

– Dogs and whales may have a special connection: At least according to whale researchers who bring dogs along with them.  I could see Rhoda mobbing with a few whales.  (Discovery)

– Blake ain’t foolish: I wasn’t the first to suggest that people would drop their insurance and save money until they actually needed insurance.  Apparently this has been going on in Massachusetts ever since they passed their health care reform.  Premiums have gone up in Masshole because of the influx of “short-term” insurance seekers.  Econ 101 – people react to incentives.  If it’s cheaper to pay a fine than get health insurance, people will take the fine.  (Dad)

– Anybody need wallpaper? Each one has a story, all look rather interesting. (Neil Gaiman’s Twitter)

– What’d she expect? “About two dozen” women marched topless down the streets of Portland, Maine. Ty McDowell was trying to show how women being topless are treated different in society than men being topless, whatever that means.  This failed when “several hundred” men cheered and took pictures, which “enraged” McDowell.  What kind of conversation did she have with the participants?  “So we’re going to walk down the street topless, and you think guys are going to be calm about this?”  “Yes.”  So we all agree then that McDowell is a dyke?  Or at least has never had contact with a male, ever?  (Drudge Report)

– Twitter update: Blake has 34 followers (no change). Harter’s on Twitter (MarkHarter1) but hasn’t tweeted yet.  Here’s the people (me) who have tweeted to Harter.

– Tweet of the week: Tough one this week.  Terrell Thomas (tdeuce4) of the Giants had a good one with “Finally watchin tiger shit on these haters” and Curren$y (CurrenSy_Spitta) had some good thoughts on rain with “Rain is wack unless ur shooting a video for ur r&b single or a rap video bout dead homies”.  But since I’m a bourbon drinker, let’s go with Archer (codenameduchess):

“Hey, scotch drinkers: you know they invented bourbon, right?”

Shout out to Alan for sharing on Reader.  You can watch all of the Archer episodes on Hulu.com here.

– What you missed: South Park.  Considering Bunk first showed me “Jesus vs. Santa Claus” it is a disheartening development to hear Bunk doesn’t really watch South Park.  This week they ripped on the culture of Facebook, namely that you can’t be friends with someone in real life if you aren’t a friend of theirs on Facebook.  Cartman does a great Jim Cramer impersonation, there’s a good rip on Farmville, and a nod to Tron.  Southparkstudios.com has all full episodes, uncensored, so go there and enjoy the best show on television.  Looks like they celebrate their 200th episode on Wednesday, and they’ll celebrate by having every celebrity they’ve ever mocked file a class action lawsuit.

– What I missed: No more “light” cigarettes.  My brother showed me his pack of Camel “Blues” and I was confused.  As of May 22nd, 2009 it is illegal for cigarette companies to use “light”, “ultra light”, “mild”, or “low tar” in the marketing of cancer sticks.  So while I’m pretty sure you guys are aware of this, I wasn’t.  Camel Lights were the first cigarette I tried, and were the pack I’d buy in high school unless Ces convinced me to buy Parliament Menthol (not Parly Lights Menthol, Parly Full).  I think I’d get the spins if I even were to smell cigarette smoke these days, but I’ll have to keep this in mind so I don’t look like a jackass trying to buy “Cammy Lights”.