Weekly Update.

(Updated January 10th, 11:30 AM – Added Michael Yon link, removed pic from “Strip tease clock” since pic was no longer showing and made The Marks’ Financial Update more clear)

– Boxing: According to sleazebag Bob Arum, the fight everyone wants to see is off.  Manny doesn’t want to do the more stringent drug testing, and Mayweather doesn’t want to let up on that either.  Let’s play Sleaze Said, May Said:

  • If you listen to Arum, they agreed to testing up to 24 days prior instead of 30, but Mayweather insists on blood testing up to fight night.
  • If you look at Mayweather’s official statement, you’ll see he’s still proposing a 14-day cutoff that Manny won’t agree with.  Also, Mayweather wants “to whip his punk ass”.  Officially, since it’s an official statement.
  • As of this writing, Freddie Roach claims Manny will fight Joshua Clottey.  Clottey lost a close decision to Miguel Cotto last year and was begging for a rematch.  Not a pushover but come on, you gonna pay $50 for this fight?  I probably won’t.  Oh yeah, and Clottey is managed by, surprise, Bob Arum.

– Sci-Fi weapons that actually exist: A grenade launcher that can detonate prior to contact, a remote controlled combat bot, and a flash bang grenade that doesn’t dismember soldiers.  What more could you ask for?  Here’s the XM-25 grenade launcher: (Wired)

– Speaking of weapons: Why not go akimbo?  (George)

– Top scientific breakthroughs of 2009: At least according to Wired, which kinda knows their shit.  No. 4 is Life Extension Breakthrough (for Rodents).  Scientists were able to extend the life of lab mice by the equivalent of thirteen years.  (Wired)

– Microsoft filed a patent for “muscle-based computer controls”: Because why use a fake guitar in Guitar Hero when you can just air-guitar it?  There’s a video with this story but I won’t subject you to it.  Go bore yourself.  (Boy Genius Report)

– Hippies rejoice: The “Great Recession” benefited some animals since stupid humans weren’t busy using up land for housing developments.  (Discovery)

– One year in 40 seconds: Stuff looks better in time lapse.  And yeah, I tried to embed the video because I know you lazy fucks won’t check the link.  Seriously, check the link.  (The World’s Best Ever)

– And football looks better in snow: Uni Watch compiled some great pictures of the Colts/Bills game on Sunday.  How great does this look?  I mean, minus the Bills uniforms, obviously:  (Uni Watch)

– A golden retriever saves kid from cougar: And it happened in Canada, of all places.  11 year-old Austin (the kid) was gathering fire wood when Angel (the dog) got between him and a “charging cougar”.  Angel suffered “moderate puncture wounds on her head and right hind leg” but should be good.  (Discovery)

– Impeach Obama: No, I don’t think we need to, but this guy does.  I just really wanted to show this pic:  (Wooten)

– Speaking of sucking: Does Larry Elder talk me into liking Palin?  Probably not, but I still maintain that Biden is no better.  (RealClearPolitics)

– More politics: Nancy Pelosi said, about the healthcare insurance reform process, that “there has never been a more open process for any legislation in anyone who’s served here’s experience.”  This was in response to question about the planned closed-door meetings that won’t air on C-SPAN.  So much for transparency.  Dems do realize this a moderate to conservative country, right?  Gallup reminds us:

– CIO caught with pornos and 12 “sexual devices” in office: Jeffrey Gundlach was fired by TCW and they then found some weed, stuff to let him smoke, and “12 sexual devices, 34 hardcore pornographic magazines and 36 hardcore sexually explicit DVDs and videocassettes.”  You stay classy, Jeffrey.  (Wooten)

– Google practices censorship: If you go to Google and type in “Christianity is” or “Buddhism is” you’ll see a list of suggestions like “bullshit” or “false”.  Type in “Islam is” and you get nothing.  What’s up with that? Google claims it’s a bug and will be fixed.  (Wired)

– Archer: From one of the creators of Frisky Dingo comes a new show on FX called Archer.  It begins airing January 14th at 10 PM.  Watch some You Tube clips here.  Here’s a promo:

– In other cartoon news: Lil Wayne will not be supplying the voice for Jesus Christ.  A spokesperson for Adult Swim assures us the character is “named Jesus and not Jesus Christ”.  (George)

– Whiskey: And everything you need to know. (Brosnan)

– Samsung 9000 series LED LCD TV: Their thinnest yet.  Look at this picture and try to find the TV:  (Engadget)

– The International CES: A trade show for gadgets.  Here’s a good run down of the goods being shown.  With ESPN and Discovery both announcing 3D channels within a year (ESPN for certain games, Discovery for a 3D only channel), it’s no wonder 3D is taking up all the press.  Check out this “transparent” display.  Or how about completely wireless TV?  No cables, not even for power.  Only a concept but still, stuff you gotta think about for the future.

– Strip tease clock: I wonder what time it is in Japan

– Was told I don’t write for ladies: No shit.  But here, ladies, you can go buy a “Clevage Caddy“:  (Geekologie)

– The Clipse on Jimmy Fallon: They perform “Grindin” with The Roots, Blackthought rips it.

– Blake and Harter made the right choice: Want to stop a rattlesnake bite from penetrating skin?  Wear denim.  (Discovery)

– Nanotechnology: They have a cocktail that can seek out cancer kills and kill them.  Nanotech was used to create a printable lithium battery.  They created ones that power microscopic motors.  And, according to GI Joe, you can make “nanobots” that eat metal (but not excrete anything).  (Institute of Nanotechnology)

– In Miami for Super Bowl? Then go to the Rick’s Cabaret and Vivid Entertainment’s party.  Strippers and pornstars?  Why not.  (Wooten)

– Michael Yon Online: Former Green Beret now an embedded reporter (blogger?).  Good article here on the 1-17th Infantry, 5th Brigade, 2nd Infantry Division.  Here’s how they respect their dead:

– Twitter update: Blake has 23 followers (flat from 23).  I was, in fact, RT’d this week by one BeeKayChica.  Her name is apparently “Ms. Homosexyouwell”.  Anyway, in an effort to raise my followers I’ve kinda sold out… and responded to a “trending” topic.  The trend was #worstlies and I tweeted “#worstlies It’s yours.”  BeeKayChica enjoyed it.

– Tweet(er) of the week: Gilbert Arenas, who’s Twitter feed is suspended, was having a field day this week (a field week?).  He ripped on Peter Vescey of the New York Post for claiming Arenas owed $60,000 to JaVale McGee (Gilby said that was like Kobe owing Jordan Farmar money, and Washington Post says $1,100 was the tab).  He claims he told a 185 lbs woman his new year’s resolution was to “not have sex with fat chicks”.  More?  He would tweet “zip it up and zip it out” when he was signing off.  He said LeBron “has taste for jokes not Kobe”.  The only person he wanted to rip him was Stephen A. Smith because “the voice just makes it funny”.  I’d link to his site but it’s no longer up.  Of course, Blake was able to retrieve his tweets from Google Reader and here’s his tweet of the week:

On Al Sharpton: “I didn’t get the memo u were still one of our black leaders”

– The Marks Financial Update: Let’s look back at 2009 as we rank The Marks by performance in 2009, last to first, along with their five year performance:

  • MFL –  +41.749% 1-yr; -14.67% 5-yr – Mark took off right in the beginning of the year going from $8.90 on December 29th, 2008 to $10.78 on January 9th, 2009.  He had a steady climb from early March like everyone else, and if you look at the chart you can see a huge spike in volume on July 29th, which was when we were finalizing plans for draft day.  Mark didn’t hit a road block until October… the heart of the Moonti season and shareholders fled.  Investors look to be showing patience now and probably see him as a good long term play. He flat-lined to end 2009 and is on a slight slide to start 2010.
  • MAB – +46.154%; -8.43% – Bunk started the year at $10.40 and got as high (so hiii-iigh) as $13.95 on January 15th only to slam back to $10.60 on February 2nd.  Just when he started to spike before March, Blake finalized plans to visit Orlando and down he went.  Blake turned this into a trend in October when him, Harter, and Mark Lee visited Whorelando and once again Bunk slipped.  Probably for dragging us and Jaime to Mako’s (ERK!ERK! ERRRK!).  After a string of successful holidays, he’s shot up into 2010 and is following the group in a slow start this year.
  • MDH – +60.221%; -79.58% – Those numbers are not typos.  Fitting that the most volatile Mark leads us out of 2009.  August was all Harter when he rose from $1.37 to $3.04 to end that month.  He nearly gave it all back until he settled down in November, made sure he didn’t finish below Blake in the Moonti standings, and then got punched in the balls to close the year (literally) but not his stock as he finished 2009 at $2.01, which might be the exact time he got punched in the balls on New Year’s Eve.

– What you missed: By no fault of your own, since this happened at the Blakes’ dinner table.  Caily (the niece) was having us ask each other questions from an American Girl set (thanks Naia…).  Caily asked Uncle Jon “what are you most proud of?”  I thought, for a moment, then heard my brother snicker.  I looked up and immediately “got it” and looked to Papa Blake to see him already laughing as well.  Penny was confused at first until Ben said, “well, at 9:33 this morning…”  That’s right, a 60 year-old, a 30 year-old and 28 year-old were laughing at a poop joke that hadn’t even been made.

– What I missed: They’ve been planning an A-Team movie?  And a Prince of Persia movie?  Next you’re gonna tell me they’re working on a Thundercats movie or a sequel to GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra.  Oh.  They are?  I guess I’ll break down and go see Dances with Smurfs in 3D.

– Harter’s request: I’ve looked but found nothing.  Anyone know when the building next to the W Residence in Hoboken is going up?  It’s at Second Street between River and Sinatra.  Also, if you know where he can find out which celebrities are moving into the W Residence, that would be much appreciated.

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