(Let’s just pretend last year didn’t happen. Cool? Cool. Also, I’m changing the naming convention of these updates. So instead of “Weekly Update,” which is a lie, I’m just going to quote myself, which is narcissistic.)
- Boxing: I took the below picture (off my TV, no less) last summer. It’s Adrien Broner wearing a “Free Money May” t-shirt while Floyd Mayweather, Jr. was in jail. Broner is as close to Mayweather as one can get, except he’s more agressive and less defensive. He’s also brash and cocky and all that shit that old white men, and racists, hate about Mayweather. Watch him on February 16th against Gavin Rees, who is someone Broner will destroy.
- Watch out: It’s not just Wooten that walks into glass doors, so do old ladies at Apple stores. Except I gotta hand it to the Woobag, he didn’t try to sue the homeless shelter where he walked his face into a window. (Apple Insider)
- Toy porn! Video summary says this happened spontaneously. I call bullshit, but enjoy: (The Daily What)
- Stem cells: They never cease to amaze me. Reported last March, they helped monkeys with Parkinson’s stop shaking. The most important quote is here:
“Monkeys starting with tremors and rigidity [began] to move smoothly, and animals originally confined to sitting down were able to walk around,” says Takahashi.
Good to see Japanese scientists not trying to make a shitburger for once. (New Scientist)
- And more stem cells: Monkeys who lost the ability to produce sperm due to (doo doo) chemotherapy have regained that ability because of stem cells in this motherfucker. (New Scientist)
- They still probably faked it: Women can orgasm during workouts. Typically it’s during abdominal exercises. Also of note, for the ladies, is that the scientists behind the study suggest that if you have an orgasm during a specific workout, that workout “has the potential to enhance women’s sexual lives as well.” (Gizmodo)
- Ah-hee-hee: I’m just going to leave this bird moonwalking right here: (Geekologie)
- We’ve got an anti-robot apocalypse think tank? Yeah, that guy Steve’s on it: Stephen Hawking has joined the Cambridge Project for Existential Risk. The article’s headline about “anti-robot apocalypse” may be a little misleading, as the group will also think about artificial life and anthropogenic climate change. (Fast Company)
- Stop development aid to Africa: So says Kenyan economics expert James Shikwati in an interview with Spiegel. To wit:
SPIEGEL: Mr. Shikwati, the G8 summit at Gleneagles is about to beef up the development aid for Africa…
Shikwati: … for God’s sake, please just stop.
SPIEGEL: Stop? The industrialized nations of the West want to eliminate hunger and poverty.
Shikwati: Such intentions have been damaging our continent for the past 40 years. If the industrial nations really want to help the Africans, they should finally terminate this awful aid. The countries that have collected the most development aid are also the ones that are in the worst shape. Despite the billions that have poured in to Africa, the continent remains poor.
Shikwati goes on to explain that the aid is going to financing huge bureaucracies and “corruption and complacency are promoted.” He also claims that the aid kills the “spirit of entrepreneurship” that Africa so needs. (Spiegel)
- Welp, there go my weekends: DrinkSavvy is working on cups and straws that change color to warn you if your drink has been tampered with. (Fast Company)
- Time-lapse is still awesome: Here’s “Island in the Sky”: (Wired)
- Boing: Everything you ever wanted to know about morning wood (it happens during R.E.M. sleep and we typically wake up coming out of R.E.M. sleep): (The World’s Best Ever)
- Fulgawhatnow? Fulgarite. That’s the name of this:
- Bear down, Arizona: The University of Arizona has added women’s sand volleyball as a varsity sport, joining only 28 other schools. Basically, what I’m saying is, you chose poorly and I chose wisely. (@AZATHLETICS)
- Amurca! American Football: Guns & Balls is a game available, for free, in Apple’s App Store (which I would link to, but apparently the App Store only exists as an app). The game is for your iPhone or iPad and its title screen looks like this:
And that picture is exactly how this game works. You wear a football uniform designed like the American flag, stand on a podium behind the uprights, and shoot at incoming field goal attempts. That’s when you’re on defense. On offense you just flick a ball at the uprights as many times as you can. It’s as terrible as you think it is, but it’s free and it’s America. (Apple)
- Siri: Here’s how to make Siri say anything you want, if you have a Mac. (Hongkiat)
- Guess it’s better than burning ‘em: Here are 40 “book sculptures” for you to peruse. Like so: (Hongkiat)
- The Marks’ Financial Update, 2012 Year in Review:
- MFL (up 10.43%) - A good sign for the Marks if Mark Lee was the worst performer and was still up 10.43% ($14.58 to $16.10). Mark’s biggest movement (not in the bathroom) was a 3-day drop (again, not in the bathroom) in the middle of March. On the 13th, you could buy a share of Mark at $15.21, but by March 16th he was only worth $14.06. The rest of the year was ho-hum until December 6th, the day after the birth of his son, where he started a fall that didn’t bottom out until December 18th. He trended up to end the year, and to start 2013 he is up 2.19% to $16.78.
- MAB (up 10.49%) - Bunk just edged out Mark Lee for second place, gaining about a buck-fiddy from $14.39 to $15.90. Bunk’s year started out well, then flatlined around the time they find out Jaime was pregnant. That flatline ended in August, which I believe is when they started telling people, but that requires research. The high (so hiiiiiiigh) for Bunk was November 23rd, where he hit $17.99. Alas, he came down from that high in December to close out the year on a downer. Currently, Bunk is up 2.29% at $16.56, but analysts have not fully figured out the impact the birth of his daughter will have. Stay tuned.
- MDH (up 44.35%) - My man does not fuck around. Harter went from $2.30 to $3.32 last year, hitting his highest point on October 9th ($4.07) just days after his engagement to Molly. The market liked that match, apparently. Harter got most of his performance in the first half of the year, gaining almost $2 through to May 3rd. He hit a couple of troughs at the end of May and beginning of June, though he had a nice upswing from there. On November 8th, the wheels came off and he dropped from $3.86 to $3.12 on November 14th. With a further drop in December, I can’t say I wasn’t worried for the guy. Luckily he had a little jump to finish 2012. Congratulations – you may not have won the Moonti Cup this year, but at least you won something.
- She’s just as happy as you: And to keep her happy, I’ll try not to wait a year between posts: (@iLikeGirlsDaily)