Weekly Update.

- Boxing: If you haven’t seen Nonito Donaire knock out Fernando Montiel, go here.  For some reason the ref let Montiel up, and quickly ends the fight after Donaire gets a couple quick shots in.  Max Kellerman puts Donaire as the number three pound-for-pound, saying “Floyd Mayweather, Manny Pacquiao, Nonito Donaire.”

- The GOAT: That is all:  (Wired)

- Street Heroin: Wired really wants you to know the ingredients of heroin.   (Wired)

- Crazy Japs: Probably not the best practice, but practice nonetheless:  (Pink Tentacle)

- iPhone, the professional’s camera: Look at this shit hurr:  (Core77)

- Chocolate vaginas: What will the U of A think up next?  Go ahead and click that link to read an article devoid of sarcasm that doesn’t understand what’s so funny about chick’s screaming “chocolate vaginas”.  (The vaginas were sold for a good cause, naturally, but that gets kinda skewed when you expect dudes under the age of 60 to take “chocolate vaginas” seriously.  Fuck that, because I know my dad just chuckled at this paragraph.  NO dudes would take chocolate vaginas seriously.)  (Wooten – how the fuck did you scoop me on that one?)

- “Mancovery”: Dr. Mark J. Perry called the recent recession a “mancession”, since more men lost their jobs, at a higher rate, than woman.  More men unemployed would mean more men being hired during the recovery, hence “mancovery”.  Here’s the chart:

Unfortunately, a headline like “Men fare better as economy recovers, but women suffer” ignores the bigger picture.  (Carpe Diem)

- Better than Decoded: Rapgenius.com is your hip-hop Wikipedia.  So they claim.  It’s just a better version of Jay-Z’s shitty book Decoded.  Each lyric is “defined” for you (or decoded, if you will).  For an example, let’s take the line from Lil Wayne’s “I Am Not a Human Being“:

Pussy for lunch

Pop all the balloons and spit in the punch

That line gets broken down to:

“To put it bluntly, Lil Wayne likes to go down on, or “eat out” girls”

And:

“Wayne will crash your party, basically”

(Insert “The More You Know” shooting star/rainbow here.)  In all seriousness, I just spent 20 minutes not writing this update and instead reading different lyrics.  The breakdowns can be funny.

- Amazing: If you tell me something is amazing, I’ll probably reply with “so amazing, so amazing, amazing, so amazing, baby baby.”  That’s because I recently picked up T.I.’s No Mercy (“eh” at best).  Listen to “Amazing” here (if you don’t listen with either good headphones with bass or a system with a sub-woofer, you won’t get why I like this song).  My favorite part is T.I.’s “OK!” in this section of the chorus:

T.I.: Serve a bitch straight E

Pharrell: Make her face fall off

T.I.: OK!

Pharrell: It’s amazing, so amazing, so amazing, amazing, so amazing, baby baby.

And seriously, what the fuck are you going to do when your face falls off?

- Look out below: Need an avalanche?  Load up some artillery and let ‘er rip.  I think that’s what they are saying in the video, at least:  (Gizmodo)

- Unions: I have two quotes that sum up how I feel about public unions.  First up is Franklin Delano Roosevelt (crown prince of the left, no?) and his take on public unions from a letter he wrote to the National Federation of Federal Employees in 1937 (emphasis added):

All Government employees should realize that the process of collective bargaining, as usually understood, cannot be transplanted into the public service. It has its distinct and insurmountable limitations when applied to public personnel management. The very nature and purposes of Government make it impossible for administrative officials to represent fully or to bind the employer in mutual discussions with Government employee organizations. The employer is the whole people, who speak by means of laws enacted by their representatives in Congress. Accordingly, administrative officials and employees alike are governed and guided, and in many instances restricted, by laws which establish policies, procedures, or rules in personnel matters.

Read the rest of the letter here so you can see he also thought it immoral for government (he fucking capitalized the G, that’s how much he loved government) to strike.  You can’t tell me you only want to help the kids when you call in sick for four days, or whatever the fuck they are up to now (research, bitches), and don’t work.  Speaking of work, that leads me to my next quote.  This one from a teacher (supposedly) in Denver to a black republican (not named Nas or Jay-Z):

That’s your problem. You’re an entrepreneur, so you don’t work. You don’t know what work is until you get into an educational area.

“You don’t know what it’s like to have two weeks off at the end of December so you can actually travel for holidays!  You don’t know what’s it like to have the summer, weekends, nights, and major holidays off, while working for only 180 days of the year.  You lazy entrepreneur, you.”  That’s how she sounds to me, at least.  You can read about more incivility shown during the public unions’ riots protests here.  (To my friends that teach: not you.  But I do hope you understand your job is not a full-year job, so it’s kind of hard for you to claim full-year salaries.  If you disagree, then go ahead and bitch at me in the comments.  You never do anyway, so I’ll just take the win.)  (Coyote Blog – for the “you don’t work” quote)

- Wait, who’s dream is this bad? Intellectual Dream Team of Arianna Huffington and David Brooks” do I need to continue that headline?  Anyway, those two lost a debate to P.J. O’Rourke and Zev Chafets.  Surprise.  (Best of the Web Today)

- Explosive farts: Scientists have found out that sheep can clean up “explosives-contaminated soil.”  They eat the grass and soil and absorb the residue of explosives.  It is completely harmless (um… so far?) and rather cheap.  Over/under on PETA flipping shit is set at two weeks.  Takers?  (Ben)

- How long is Bunk staying down there? A crazy lady in Collier County hit another woman with a board, a sign, and threatened her with scissors after the other woman gave the crazy lady’s kids thin mints from the Girl Scouts.  Aggressive.  (Dad)

- Hmm. This update is getting boring: Yeah:  (Working Stiff 925)

- Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! Probably not best to say happy birthday to your mom underneath a shot of titties… but would you expect anything less of me?

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