Weekly Update.

(WARNING: No naked chicks below.)

- Keep your family’s corpses: Just build a crypt.  Well, that’s what they told 91-year-old Jean Stevens from Wyalusing, PA.  She had dug her husband’s body up in 1999 and had been keeping him on a couch in the garage.  The one thing that is most confusing to me (obviously besides the living with corpses thing) is this line: “the corpses of her husband and twin sister” coupled with this line: “[a]uthorities found the body of James Stevens on a couch in the detached garage and the body of June Stevens on a couch in a spare room off the bedroom.”  If Jean and June are twin sisters, and Jean is married to James Stevens, then why do Jean and June still have the same last name?  (BreakingNews Twitter feed)

- Shoes for shorties: If you feel the need for elevator shoes, here you go.  (Core77)

- Shoes for lazies: Motorized shoes.  Will this be the new mode of transportation?  I’m going to say no.  Just because.  (Core77)

- TV: Not feeling Louie (FX), but agree with Mark Lee that The Real L Word (Showtime) is addictive.  Plus, there’s some waste of talent on the Real L Word, just saying.  Oh, and titties (the waste of talent is the one showing her titties in that clip).

- Underwater creatures: They discovered 10 new species along the Mid-Atlantic Range.  Papa Blake thinks half of them “look like prehistoric dicks.”  I think he means like this one:  (Wired)

- Black hole on Earth: It’s not a hole, it’s the Moon’s shadow.  Here are about 10 more shots of a Solar Eclipse from space.  (Gizmodo)

- Speaking of space: Here’s the most recent microwave map of the entire sky:  (Wired)

- FDA approves cyborgs: Or at least miniature telescopes that can be implanted into your aging eye.  (PopSci)

- France Face/Off: Doctors in France recently completed a full face transplant, including eyelids.  (Yahoo!)

- White Castle may stop giving insurance to employees: Apparently they’ve been doing it since 1924, but after 2014 they may have to end it due to the reform to health care insurance.  Here’s a fun read on the topic where the Government and Unions say White Castle, IHOP, The National Retail Federation, and others are blowing it out of proportion.  White Castle (the burger joint, not a sarcastic rip on the current administration) claims that their younger and healthier employees would most likely opt for the federal program, meaning that older and unhealthier employees would remain on White Castle’s plan and drive up the cost for everyone else.  Aren’t you glad we passed this bill so we could see what’s in it?  (Cumming)

- 100 insults in movies: I like that In Bruges is on here a couple of times (“you’re an inanimate fucking object!”).  All in all a good compilation.  (The World’s Best Ever)

- “Tired Gay succumbs to Dix”: Ah, headlines.  (Uni Watch)

- Rice paddy: Asians go buckwild on their rice paddies, while Americans/Europeans do crop circles:  (Telegraph)

Gigantic depictions of girls playing a jumping game are seen on a  3,000-square-metre rice paddy in Goesan, North Chungcheong Province of  South Korea

- The Marks’ Financial Update:

  • MFL – Mark dropped seven cents after he stood me up at the bowling alley, but once investors realized him standing me up was already baked into the stock he rose to close out this week at $14.20 (up from $13.87).  He was the only Mark to be flat on the day of the LeBacle, which should have been the major sign that LePussy wasn’t going to the Nets.  (That and the signing of Travis Outlaw, because clearly those two superstars couldn’t coexist.)
  • MDH – Harter stayed flat on the 28th and 29th of June, holding steady at $1.75 only to shoot up to $1.95 in a day, then from there to $2.44 on the 8th of July (again, the LeBacle).  Investors came into work on Friday depressed and with the realization that Harter doesn’t really care much for the NBA, sending him down to $2.19.  It could have been worse, but once again Harter Knock Life gets a top four pick in the Moonti Draft.
  • MAB – Bunk had a nice rise while staying in NYC this week, moving from $14.92 on July 2nd up to $15.44 on the 8th.  Then he got a shitty draft position in the Moonti Lottery so investors trimmed him down to $15.37 to end the week.  Also, not having the courtesy to flush before leaving someone’s apartment didn’t help.

- Notes on the site: Added two new additions to Read, and I think both are worth reading.

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